Shittiest Move of the Week

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TGIF and I freaking mean that this week. We survived week one with a kid in school and I have never been more excited to see the weekend. Except that I have to work tonight and Matt in the morning. But we have a weekend of fun so I can breath again. But before all of that I need to call myself out on my shittiest move this week. Here we go.

I know that all I have talked about this week is Viv starting school. Huge deal right?! But I realized after the first two days that I have made this week all about me. So much so I actually said (well shouted) those actually words to my 3 year old son. He was crying as we dropped her off, then started crying about wanting a new toy and I was having a moment. Or at least trying to have a moment. I wanted to watch her walk away. Watch her go and all I could focus on was him being cranky Kellen (his nick name.) She asked me to take him out of the school. She said she was good. I was so proud, but so sad. Like I felt so bad not being able to focus on her and her moment (well, my moment.) So as we walked home and he kept crying and complaining I shouted “Kellen, you ruined this morning for me” and some more things I am too shitty to admit. It didn’t really phase him. But as the day went on I saw how much he wasn’t ready for her to start school. He missed her and he didn’t know what to do without her. And the tantrum he was throwing was just confusion and worry about her not being near him all day like he is so accustom to.

It took me awhile to figure it out though. And as he tantrumed, well, I tantrumed back. I wanted to be the one crying. I wanted to be allowed to feel all the feels of a kid heading off to school. I wanted a moment and when you have multiple kids, well, you don’t get that. Well, maybe you do if you have a nanny or something, but not here. We will one day get to feel everything, but just not now. We as adults, just have to suck it up and move on.

Like right now, as I try to complete this, he is crying about getting a new toy (Viv told him I would buy him one today……WTF.) Anyway, my shittiest move is being a bitch to my toddler so I could be a big baby. Not logical, but hey am I ever????

Happy Friday,

xoxo

The Shitty Housewife

The Shitty Housewife’s Thursday Thoughts

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So as you all know I had my very first “letting go” parenting moment this week. I know, I know. I have three kids, one of which is 4 years old. How the fuck is this the first??? Well, my husband and I have managed, for 4 years, to keep one of us with her at all times. No daycare, no hiring a nanny. We busted our asses and worked and parented and exhausted ourselves making it happen. But we did it. I got 4 years at home with her and now her brothers. So yesterday she began school and it was rough…..for me.

But it was hard for everyone. Well not really for Viv. She did great. She was a tough cookie. No tears, totally chill and had a great time. Cool when I left her, cool when we all picked her up. Just chill. Her brother had a tougher time. I guess I did so much prepping with her I forgot to prep him. He cried when we had to leave the school saying he wanted to stay with her. He asked me over and over what to do. He told me he didn’t know what to do without her. He cried. A LOT. Matt was great, but I could tell he was anxious as well. He woke her up and helped her get ready. Got off work early to make sure he was there to pick her up. He was staring at the clock just as hard as I was waiting for it to be time to go scoop her. When she saw him at pick up she ran to him with the biggest smile on her face, so happy to see him.

The next step is Matt’s mom moving here. She is renting an apartment in town for a year now that she has retired. She wants to help with the kids and have a more routine presence in their lives. I am so excited. But nervous. I am taking on more hours at work and my school starts up again so she will be with the boys while Viv is at school. So I will be letting them go here soon. I know it is par for the course of parenting and most do it much sooner than this. And I know I talk a lot of shit about them being wild, disgusting and kinda assholes but they are my wild, disgusting assholes that I love more than I could have ever imagined and now this “home” time with them is over. And I am letting them all go…..it sucks.

It’s life though. And all these changes are for the best. I am watching them grow and seeing my family grow up. It is incredible and heartbreaking all at the same time. It is just going so fast. I feel like I will blink and Viv will be asking for birth control, Kell will be breaking someone’s heart and Cam will be getting arrested for urinating in public (these aren’t my parenting goals, I am just realistic.) The days seem long but the years are flying.

Happy Thursday folks, the weekend is almost here. We have ALMOST made it,

xoxo

Jan-O, The Shitty Housewife

She Starts School

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My daughter, my first born, my first baby starts school tomorrow. 5 days a week. All day. She will no longer be at home full time with me. Swallowing this information has been exceptionally harder than I could have ever imagined.

I have spent over 4 years side by side with Viviane. And prior to that, 9 months growing her inside my body. Yes, I have worked, gone out of town, been away from her. But this feels different. My day in day out buddy will be spending her days elsewhere. A place that will not be my side.

How do I do it? How do I walk her into a classroom full of kids and adults I barely know and leave her? How do I trust them? How do I trust the work I have done with her? How do I know I have done all I should have done to mold her into a kid ready for school? How do I do this??

I have been asking myself these questions and a million more since I signed her up months ago. The truth is, she IS ready. She needs this. She will love it and thrive. Her imagination will get to be nurtured all day in an environment dedicated to it. And yes, we are dedicated to her growth here at home, but we also have her brothers, work, school, chores, blogs and a million other things going on. Full time school for Viv will be perfect. She will adore it……I, well, I am a little worried about myself.

I have so many fears as a parent. I have been exposed to so many horror stories just watching the news. I know what is out there. Heartbreak. Sadness. Cruelty. But she does not. She is so innocent and unaware of the realities of this world. She lives in a world filled with acceptance, love, kindness and happiness. And I am so afraid to see that go away. I am so afraid to see her get hurt and see that innocence chip away. I want her to remain completely unaware of how cruel this world can be. I want to hold that burden for her as long as humanly possible. And watching her walk through the doors at a new school where I am not going to be makes me so scared that the burden will begin to slowly affect her.

Parenting is such a crazy roller coaster. You want to set them free and have experience, yet we want to be there and protect. We want our time to finish our shit but we never want them to not be around. We birth these babies, fight like dogs to get them eating and sleeping and destroy our bodies making sure they are okay, then we send them away to someone else to teach them……well everything. I know they are always learning from home and learning from us and family, it just all seems so odd. I know it only seems odd because I am in the thick of it. I am experiencing the very first ever “letting go” moment of my parenting career. Matt and I crafted a life where daycare was not needed. And here we are. Sending our sweet baby off. It hurts. A good hurt, but it still hurts.

So to all of you that have done this before please tell me it gets easier. Everyday, every child, every letting go situation. For now I will lie to myself and say it will. It is the only thing that will get me through tomorrow. I will be brave, strong and proud for her. Because I know I did do all that I could and that she is brave, strong and proud for herself.

 

Eric Taylor and Michelle Pfeiffer

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BACK TO SCHOOL EDITION…….

Welp, it is that time of year. BACK TO SCHOOL! Grab your trapper keep and back pack (although nowadays it is more like grab your ipad and roller luggage.) So since this week marks the first day of some bells ringing, I thought for this Masturbation Monday I would feature actors who have played the role of teacher in a very sexy way.

Eric Taylor from ‘Friday Night Lights’ and Michelle Pfeiffer from ‘Dangerous Minds’

Although I never watched Eric in this particular role, I have heard he NAILED it. And nothing is hotter than a coach who cares about his students, works hard for his family and who can blow a whistle in all the right ways. Michelle, although as of late, has changed her looks a bit, is beautiful. But she worked that shit in Dangerous Minds. Coolio wasn’t the only one who boomed after that movie. She was raw, rough and tough. Something we all like to think about when we are enjoying our Monday time!

So happy back to class. If you have time to rub on out before first period, then I hope it is to these two! Now hurry up….I don’t want to cause anyone detention!

 

Shittiest Move of the Week

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So as I wrap up my writing about my vacation, I thought I would end it with a bang. Of course I was shitty on vacation. OF COURSE!!!!! I mean, I am The Shitty Housewife, it is to be expected right?!

So it wasn’t anything that terrible, and I think a lot of people could relate. Vacation with kids can be stressful. A different environment, a new place to sleep, people spoiling you all over the place. But for some reason, I was extra tense this week. I could not relax, no matter how hard I tried. And I was TRYING! And I was trying so hard, I turned into an edgy, tense, feisty bitch. Like big time. I was constantly snapping at the kids, rolling my eyes, and staring at the clock waiting for bedtime. One night, I was so over it, I put the baby to bed at 5:30 (that is about 3 hours early for him.) I just couldn’t.

I think in my head I had this idea of them chilling out on vacation. But instead they turned into rampaging, party animals. Even more so then they are at home. Look it all worked out and everyone survived, but not without some mommy meltdowns in between. Matt had to tell me to calm down numerous times. And after we landed back home, walked to baggage claim, strolled by an airport store selling cute kid luggage and my daughter said “Mommy, I want that travel bag” I glared back and stated “No need, we are never traveling again.” I realized that I was the one making things tenser than they needed to be. It is vacation, let it go. Blow of steam. Care less, right?!

Welp, better luck next time………if there is ever a next time.

Thursday Thoughts

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Well, the O’Shaughnessy Family of 5, first ever family vacation is in the books. We came home last night after a long day of intense travel. It was an amazing 7 days. Great to see so much family and what a beautiful setting we had waking up everyday at my in laws lake house.

Traveling with 3 toddlers is no joke. The planes, the car trips, the non routine. The bad sleep!!!! It was more tiring than I could have ever expected. Last night, once the kids were all home and in their beds Matt and I looked at each other like, ‘What the fuck just happened?’ We are shot. And of course today we all had to wake up at 6 am, Matt heads to work and the kids and I head to the vet to drop off one of the pups for surgery. Then tonight, Matt and the kids pick up the pup while I work. Never a dull moment here.

This is our last official week of summer. And with all three kids at home…FOREVER. Viviane starts school next week. 5 days a week……IT IS FUCKING CRAZY. I actually can not blog about it currently because I will begin crying and I don’t have time for a break down this morning. Plus that is a WHOLE other blog in itself.

Man, these days go fast. Vacation, although tiring, went by in a blink. This LAST summer literally just started and now it is over in 6 more sleeps. My daughter is starting school. The baby, well, he just not a baby anymore. This whirlwind we have been on since the day we met has been nothing short of INCREDIBLE. But now post vacation, we have so much change ahead of us. I am nervous, excited, worried, scared, happy but mostly proud. Proud of this little life Matt and I created for ourselves and for our kids. They are pretty cool. Our life is pretty cool. Our love is pretty cool. Being so lucky is pretty cool.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUSBAND

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Today is Matt-O’s birthday. One of my favorite days of the year. A day celebrating my adorable husband. This year is extra special for few reasons. The first being that this is the first birthday celebration of his where he is my husband. Second reason being that we are in his home town at his parents lake house with all of his friends and family. It is the perfect setting for a birthday.

I don’t like to say I am obsessed with my husband, because that sounds crazy. But I kinda am. But not in a creepy, crazy way. In like a, I am so lucky I found someone so awesome to chill out with for the rest of my journey here on earth with, it kinda makes me obsessed way. He is the funniest person I know, he is my #1 cheerleader in every thing I do. He is respectful, supportive, thoughtful, great between the sheets and most importantly, beyond loyal to myself and our family.

People say you should marry your best friend. Which I do agree with. But you should also marry someone you are slightly obsessed with as well. Someone you can be as weird as you want to in front. Someone who commits to life with you, not just commits to you. Someone who makes your insides smile even when you have seen them for DAYS in a row. Someone who makes you mad but also makes you look forward to make up sex. It is for the rest of your life, and that shit is gonna be long if you are lucky, so make sure you are a little obsessed. It makes it so much more fun.

So I am saluting my main squeeze today, on his special day. He made me a mom, a wife, a shitty housewife and the luckiest gal in the world.

Thursday Thoughts

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So as a mom I am constantly taking my kids to “play places.” Parks, pools, indoor play areas at fast food restaurants. Anywhere that allows them to run, yell, chase and  pretty much just burn off energy. A place that when we leave everyone has had a release and everyone is so much happier.

I began thinking, why don’t we have places like this for adults? I am not talking about a gym, or a bar, or a party. I am talking about a non boozing, non meat market, straight up playground where we adults can climb, run, chase and cream and NOT get funny looks. A place where we can be as silly as we want, wild as we want and crazy as we want with no weird looks coming our way. A place where our imaginations can let loose and we can stop worrying about life for a few minutes. A place where we can burn off steam and release without booze, sex or work involved.

Of course a place like this would never exists, someone would sue or turn it into something freaky. Like right now when I googled “adult play places” for a picture for this post it was all porn…which of course I don’t mind but come on…..

We need a release. We really do. And not a “work out” or a “girls night out” or “climax.” Just a release, right? I would love to be surrounded by a group of strangers, on a play ground or even better, a bouncy house and just yell and scream and run. Sneak up and scare someone. Chase someone to the next slide. Get so sweaty and wild without getting a crazy look. I mean, how good would that feel?????? What an awesome natural high that would be, right?

Maybe one day I will turn my backyard into an adult play place (don’t worry, I will hide my vibrators) see how much fun we would all have. I bet everyone would be friendlier, happier, skinnier! Maybe for once shittier would not be on the agenda.

New Friends…Old Vibes

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Choose-kindness_daily-inspiration_red-fairy-projectI had something else to post today, but a few days ago I experienced something pretty awesome and I wanted to write about it.

Saturday night, we were casually invited over to someone’s house for drinks, food and hanging out. We actually were NOT going to go, seeing as though we had a huge to do list. Also, I was working that day and working a 12 hour shift the next day and since we are heading out of town TODAY, lots of chores. We began our chores and went to run our errands. On the way home, all 3 kids fell asleep in the car. We knew waking them up and transporting them inside was most likely going to turn into a Saturday night asshole fest,  so we thought, ‘fuck it, let’s go for an hour and let the kids sleep on the way there.’

We weren’t sure what we were going to walk into. Only knowing a couple people there, we assumed we would say some hellos, let the kids play for a bit and peace out. LITTLE DID WE KNOW….

Have you ever walked into a room full of humans you have never met and felt IMMEDIATELY like you had been old friends with everyone forever??? Like you were one of the group with the only exchange being a hello and a quick joke? Like you and your quirky family felt so at home with a group of “strangers” that we let our kids run inside and chill with people we just met? Well, all of those things were happening.

Jokes were flying! I heard “Is that The Shitty Housewife?” Kids were playing and Matt and I suddenly felt this odd sense of ‘home’ with people we did not even know. People of all walks of life. People nothing like us, but with SO much in common. People on different paths but with the same goal. Love, kindness and laughter. We talked, we laughed, we ate, then it got even better.

The host comes out with a guitar and everyone….LIKE EVERYONE began to sing. Old songs, new songs, good voices, bad voices. Singing classics at the top of their lungs. With no judgement, no hate, just pure love filling the room. Kids were dancing, smiles were large and hearts were full. And I believe it or not…..I WAS TOTALLY SOBER. It was one of the most beautiful nights I have experienced in a long time.

On the way home Matt and I held hands. Something we never do. He put on one of my favorite songs. He told me he loved me and that he could not imagine a more better life, even with all the craziness. With tears of happiness in my eyes, I completely agreed. We were both moved by the evening and have been swimming in it ever since.

Living in this world full of SO MUCH shit, moments like these are just fucking incredible. We are swarmed by bull shit, hate and worry all the time. The media blasts it and judgement of certain groups in society are the new norm. But it does not have to be our reality. There is so much joy and love and acceptance out there. It is up to us to find it and own it and SHARE it. People want to love one another. People want to tell a joke to a stranger and make them laugh (or is that just me?) People want to listen to music and sing and let their guard down. We just need others to help guide us there.

So thank you to that amazing group of people on Saturday night for doing that for us. For showing us there is still light and hope and love and laughter outside of our little home. I can not wait to return the favor and to pay it forward to someone else. Love always guys….ALWAYS!