Why My Second Kid Has A Better Mom

Being a second kid can totally suck. You get hand-me-down toys, hand-me-down clothes, and you never really get Mom to yourself. You always have someone picking on you, annoyed by you even though you just wanted to play, someone bigger/stronger/faster than you.

But you know what is awesome about being the second kid? You get a much better mom. Before baby #1, I was terrified but knew I would be a great mom because I read every.single.article. I read every.single.forum. I was in every.single.mom group. Baby #1 got like three baby showers, a perfectly curated nursery, brand new clothes, every teether on the market. I wouldn’t feed non-organic, I wouldn’t put her down if she was crying, I wouldn’t let anyone babysit her. I wouldn’t take time for myself, I wouldn’t let her self soothe, and I wouldn’t let her just do her thing.

Baby #2 didn’t get any of that shit. And honestly, I think he’s better for it. He is still THE happiest baby on this earth and he doesn’t give a shit about any of it. Now this all may change when they get a bit older, since now they are just 3 and 10months, but for now I’m not stressing it. He doesn’t care he has purple sheets. He doesn’t care his toys are his sister’s hand-me-downs bought from Goodwill to begin with. He doesn’t care that I let him eat pepperoni and shredded cheese for lunch.

Baby #2 gets the “cool mom.” She isn’t worried about the tiniest bump on his arm because she knows it is just a mosquito bite, no reason to ask the mom group, go back outside and play. She isn’t helicopter-ing around him as he learns to crawl and walk, she’s just encouraging, knowing there will be a few tumbles. She isn’t staying at home locked away from the world because she wants no one to watch him, he gets to know everyone at the party as he gets passed around and loves it. She isn’t stressed and hating herself and beating herself up because of that one little mistake that Suzie from Facebook would NEVER allow but really doesn’t fucking matter. He ate an m&m, holy shit!

Baby #2 gets to experience more in life. He gets an older sister to inspire, teach, and torture him. He gets the already tired parents willing to let him “just be a kid.” He gets a ton more freedoms off the bat. And he still has parents who freaking love him. Because that’s what it’s all about, right? Teaching them love? For the world, for others, for themselves?

So if you have baby #2 on the way and you’re fucking terrified, shit even baby #1, just let them be. Don’t be so caught up in all the little things you have to do, focus on just being the best mom you can be. That doesn’t mean the laundry will always be done. That doesn’t mean your floors are spotless. That doesn’t mean everyone is always doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing. Because after baby #2, none of those things are going to be happening. But you are going to notice all of the little things you didn’t really pay attention to with your first because you were too concerned with what you should be doing.





Why I Did A Boudoir Photoshoot 6 Weeks Postpartum & Why Every Woman Should

So, Facebook groups have become my very favorite thing about Facebook for quite a few months now. There are groups for absolutely EVERYTHING! There are mom groups, toddler groups, sexy groups, relationship groups, and boudoir groups! A girl I barely know added me to a boudoir group months ago as part of a contest. I am an incredibly novice photographer in LOVE with the power of women’s bodies so I happily joined and found the very best group of empowering, uplifting women and even better, there was booties and babes everywhere!

The group is called ERP Boudoir VIP Group and it is run by the amazing Elizabeth Rose Cole, the mommy of 2 who has created this incredible business of making women feel like fucking rockstars. And y’all, she is the sweetest, most down to earth, chill, fun, comforting, badass I have met. So, when I got the chance at a session with her, I fucking jumped on it. The problem was, I had just had my second baby 6 weeks earlier, so I messaged her and she told me everything I needed to her. I expressed to her my concern with my trouble areas like my belly and she told me, “That’s what most women feel uncomfortable with. But you just had a baby! Of course your belly is going to still be healing. I’ll make sure you look like a goddess. 😊” And boy did she!

I want to give y’all a run down of how my session went because it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life!

The night before, I was up so late picking out the most “sexy” stuff I had, if you want to even call it that. Half of the stuff didn’t fit because it was pre-baby#1 so that was a bit upsetting but I just grabbed everything I could find. What was awesome is that she also has a whole wardrobe at the studio to use that she has handpicked for the best photoshoot attire on any body. And since this shoot was for my fiance as well as myself, she encouraged me to get some things that he might be attached to or that he likes on me. I shaved everything, and I mean everything, moisturized out the wazoo and brushed out my hair. I went to bed with excited butterflies.

The next morning I arrived at the studio to a smiling, warm and friendly Elizabeth. I instantly felt calmer with the cool vibe of the studio and the even cooler Spotify playlist echoing through the rooms. She offered me champagne and we went through the clothes I brought with me. I loved it because she was SUPER honest about what she felt would look best on me and translate to the best photos, and I was happy for the feedback! We talked about what I was comfortable with nudity wise and what kind of vibe I wanted for the shoot. She was willing to do everything from no nudity, implied nudity, and complete nudity without me feeling judged with my decision. Soon, makeup artist, Jennifer Chalk arrived  and we got to work! I sat for the most pampering this mama has gotten in years while Elizabeth did the best pin curl hairstyle, and Jennifer gave me  smokey, sultry makeup look. It was so fun and felt like we had known each other for years! It was all girl talk and baby talk and what I have missed while being at home with the babies and no adult conversations.

Once that was done, it was on to the shoot! The butterflies were back but in such an exciting way! What I absolutely loved is all the guidance Elizabeth gave me. She gave me a run down of how the shoot was gonna go, what she was going to say and so, what I needed to keep in mind, and she even showed me each pose so I could see what she meant when she said certain phrases. One I heard a lot was “arch that back! stick the booty out!” And from that first setup, we got my first shot and one of my faves!

The entire time she was checking her camera display and talking me up, telling me how much she loved it, how excited she was, how great I looked and wow did those words of affirmation help! From there we changed outfits, changed positions, changed locations, changed props etc and the shoot flew by without me ever feeling awkward half-naked in front of some chick I just met. Once we finished up with the shoot, I changed back into my “daytime” clothes and hung out while she worked on some of the photos. What I loved is that in just a couple of hours she had the gallery ready for me to look at instead of waiting for weeks, and we were able to look through them together to pick out prints. She has the most amazing selection of matted prints, albums, metal prints, & canvases for every budget. They are all gorgeous and so belong in your hubby’s/wifey’s sight every morning so they can remember how fucking fabulous you really are! Elizabeth kindly sent me some of my  proofs for this blog post and to share with all of her newest fans (y’all!!!)

And notice how I haven’t talked about being 6 weeks postpartum since the beginning? Because I didn’t fucking remember! The whole session I was si comfortable with Elizabeth that I just knew she would make me look fab and there was nothing to worry about and I felt so sexy! And when I got home a few hours later, Nick let me know how sexy I looked, too. (wink, sex, wink) And that confidence has lasted. After seeing myself in a way so different from the every day mom, messy bun, spit up covered, #PJsAllDay image I am so used to seeing in the mirror, I have realized that I can be the sexy woman who Nick always talks about. I can walk with a strut because I am amazing. I can feel good about myself and know that underneath all this that I am a goddess. And I fucking love that outlook on myself. I feel happier, more confident, more motivated, and more capable.

SO all of that being said, you HAVE TO join her group you HAVE TO go check out her website and you HAVE TO get a session done with her. She has just rolled out her newest referrals program so let her know that The Shitty Housewife Nicole sent you and get your booty into her studio. I promise you won’t regret it!


Why We Love: Mercedes Rivera

13312847_10107673365930013_7394803996112528617_nI am so excited to talk to you guys about Mercedes. She is a goddess. She is a queen. She is the coolest chick to ever come into my life. I literally  gaze at her in amazement when she speaks, because everything she says is the epitome of cool… yet she has no clue how fucking cool she really is, which, again, makes her the coolest chick ever. If you are lucky enough to meet Mercedes a few things go through your brain.

First off, you truly feel like you have just met a fairy. A real life, wings about to come out of her shoulder blades, glittery fairy.

Secondly, within seconds, you realize, “Wow, I think I am talking to the most genuine human to ever exist.

And lastly you think, “Did I just make a new best friend?” because she makes you feel that special. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU. TALK. She is simply incredible!!

Okay, now that I have gushed over my girl crush, let me tell you what makes her even more amazing: HER JEWELRY! That is right folks, Mercedes makes awesome jewelry and you should all go to her pages (listed below) and buy all of it. I was honored that she wanted to sit down and talk to me about herself and her art. So here ya go…

So, tell me a little about yourself? My name is Mercedes, I was born and raised in the County of Dade, Florida.  I don’t like to read or watch TV. I have a Ninja Turtle obsession and think I was a mermaid in my past life. My ultimate life goal is to have a sick treehouse with a view and until then, enjoy the journey.

How did you get involved with jewelry design? My Mom loves to create jewelry in her spare time, she got really into beads when I was in middle school and started making buddhist prayer necklaces.  I thought the beads were super cool so I would steal a few at a time. Started my own collection and eventually had a shit ton of beads I wasn’t doing anything but hoarding. Took them along with me to college and eventually got bored one day here in Atlanta and made some bracelets. Made one for a friend as a thank you gift.  It received a lot of attention when she posted it on Instagram and the rest was kind of history.  Opened my Etsy for fun, won Best of Atlanta in Creative Loafing in 2015 and took that as a confirmation to follow my heart.   

Have you always been an artist in some way? I actually just started admitting it this year. Mostly because I can’t draw worth a dime. I can admit I’ve always been creative.

You are also writing a children’s book? What has that experience been like? I have always had the desire to write a kids book since I’ve worked so closely with them my whole life.  As a nanny I read dozens of kids books a week and I just get tired of stories with weak plots, or no plot at all.  I also can’t stand a wordy, lengthy kids book. I’m sure most parents can agree with me on that! I happen to be best friends with an artist, Roger, who specializes in character design. He also happens to be a KICK ASS tattoo artist (visit his site here). Funny story, we would always talk about doing this book, I spent months doing research on writing and publishing, so much that I never got to the actual story.  Roger one day kindly bribed me to sit down and start writing the book saying that he would make my logo for Heart Mercedes.  So that night I did just that. I wrote half the book in a little over an hour. It just kind of poured out. Showed Roger, I couldn’t believe how excited he got (the main characters are his kids that may have had a little something to do with it; they’re awesome).  I finished the book that night. He is currently working on illustrating the book and in the process we lucked out on an opportunity to pilot an animated series. Writing a book has now turned into working on episodes for a plausible series, its been an unbelievable journey with so much work ahead of us.

If you could be any children’s book character yourself, who would you be? Ramona Quimby. I loved reading her books growing up, Ramona happens to be my middle name and I can be a bit of a brat at times, felt like we related well.

What inspires you to create? Everything. Music, people, nature, travel, culture. Life is beautiful, it’s inspiring.

Describe your perfect date? I’m a simple girl. I like thoughtful surprises and random adventures. Bonus points if it’s outdoors with a killer view. The best dates end with ice cream.

Who is your favorite artist? My mom, she approaches life as one big art project, our house, the food she cooks, the garden, and of course in her jewelry.

I ask all of my guests this… what is the shittiest move you have ever made? When I was in 7th grade we had a teacher that no one liked.  She was just always mad! She happened to like me but she was still mean to all my friends.  One day she asked me to fill up her water bottle and my friends saw me at the water fountain asked me whose it was and when I told them it was hers, two of them spit in it. Ah!!!! They shook it up and gave it to her. I watched her drink it and felt like shit. She didn’t get any nicer to say the least. Never told her but even retelling the story I feel like a douche.

Where can readers purchase your designs? I have an Etsy shop but the easiest way to find it is on my websiteHeartMercedes.com

Shameless plug….social media info/website/etc.

@HeartMercedes for my Jewelry on IG. If you want a glimpse at my personal life and all my selfies you can follow @YokoOnoBenzo. Like my facebook page: Shop Heart Mercedes

Every please go and check her out. Follow her journey because she and it are amazing!


The Shitty Housewife

Jan O

Carla Anderson, BullsEye Rescue

So, I have decided to begin a new monthly feature about people who are NOT as shitty as you know who (me people…I am talking about me, The Shitty Housewife!) People who are super cool, doing super cool shit and making super needed differences in this insane world we live in. Whether they have started their own business, survived some crazy crap life has handed them, or are living their life by giving back. These people are making strides to better their world and ours and I want to celebrate them. Welcome to NOT SO SHITTY THURSDAY!

My first feature is a beautiful woman who I am lucky enough to call a friend. She spends her days and nights being an awesome mom, grandmother and wife. She spoils her friends with her unconditional love and welcoming arms. And she busts her ass saving animals here in Atlanta with her very own organization, BullsEye Rescue.

Their mission: “BullsEye Rescue, Inc. is a non-profit, licensed Georgia rescue committed to improving the lives and reputations of breeds typically classified as “Bullies” (Pit Bull Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers, American Bulldogs, Bull Mastiffs, Rottweilers and mixed varieties of these breeds and others).” So basically, they get to the nitty, gritty with these angel pups that can have a bad reputation (not in my house…I have 2 pits!) and make sure they are fostered, cared for and ultimately into a forever home. 

I will say these, I have been in the animal industry for years now. IT IS NO JOKE! The emotional strain can be so hard and draining. It can be heart breaking and heart warming day in and day out. What Carla and her team are doing is incredible and we are lucky to have her on our planet. I adore her, and so should you.

Here she is folks…meet Carla Anderson

So, tell me a little about yourself?

I’m a wife, a mom, a CiCi (don’t call me a grandma!) and a friend. And a misfit.

How did Bullseye Rescue come about?

BullsEye Rescue was born of my love of dogs and our own Foo. I was involved in animal rescue for awhile and saw lots of rescues, working as emotional wrecking balls, but not as companies. To be successful, I felt we needed to behave as a responsible company. Being a rescue doesn’t exclude you from operating responsibly.

I went to adopt Foo and they told me I couldn’t have him because he was a “pit bull” and I told them to get that dog and bring him to me or there would be hell to pay. I had no idea about Breed Specific Legislation in Clayton County at that time. They changed his breed to American Bulldog and I left with him while the vet was driving in to euthanize dogs that day.

Have you always been a dog lover?

I’ve always loved animals—dogs, cats, lizards (I’m from Miami!)

Tell me about your first rescue?

What would be considered our first rescue? Our first rescue as a family was when I was a teeny one in Miami. My parents weren’t the hippie-rescue people in the 70s. A kitten showed up, we took him in.

As an adult, our apartment in Buckhead was broken into while our 2 year old slept in her bed. We went the next day and adopted the biggest dog at the shelter. He was 80 pounds and peed himself if you looked at him.

If you could be any animal BESIDES a dog, what would it be?

I would be a dolphin! I would love to ride the waves and make the boaters smile! And beat sharks’ asses!

What inspires you to continue what you are doing, especially since animal rescue can be so emotionally trying?

Animal rescue is especially trying. Our friends, fosters, volunteers and donors keep me going. They are all so incredibly committed that I couldn’t imagine bailing on them! Moreover, my kid and my husband. My kid has grown to be a rescuer and my husband supports me to the ends of the earth. He understands my every evening on my phone working on dogs in need and tells me he couldn’t be more proud of what I do. My support team is incredible.

What hobbies, besides saving puppy lives, do you enjoy?

MUSIC AND FRIENDS! My entire “other” life is music! There is nothing in this world that is better than a bunch of friends singing and playing music! My husband is an amazing musician and our kid is the BEST singer I’ve ever heard! Give me a glass of wine, my family, and my friends and I couldn’t be happier.

What is your favorite and least favorite dog related movie?

Best: Balto and The Drop

Worst: I don’t know. Either I’ve missed it or I’ve blocked it.

I know you love music, if you could sit in a crowd full of Pit Bulls and serenade them, what song would you sing?

Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds

I ask all of my guests this….what is the shittiest move you have ever made?

There are so many…

Shameless plug…. How can my readers find you and reach out to you via social media info/website/etc.