Crock Pot Spaghetti Squash


So there was this video recipe I saw all over Facebook. It was a slow cooked spaghetti squash, finished off like a true pasta. The reviews were raving. I have always wanted to cook spaghetti squash and I needed to get back to this Fat Kid Friday deal, so I thought….PERFECT. Everyone claimed it tasted just like real pasta and that you could sneak a veggie to your kids. I thought, well this will be great…….well here is my review.

Ingredients: 1 Spaghetti Squash. 4oz. Cream Cheese. 2 cups frozen peas. 5 pieces of bacon. Parmesan cheese. Salt and Pepper.

Step One:

Poke holes in the squash and put in the crock pot with 1 cup of water for 3 hours.


Step Two:

Once the 3 hours is getting close to being over, dice bacon up and fry it. And do actually 6 pieces, because your fat ass will eat like an entire piece “just taking a quick bite.”


Step Three-

Listen to the hardship of an almost 2 year old


Step Four-

Take out squash. Cut in half. Take the top layer out with the seeds and throw it away. Then scoop out the rest and put back in the crock pot (do not remove the water!!!)

Step Five-

Add cream cheese, bacon and peas. Let cook for anther 45 minutes.




Step Six-

Let your kids watch creepy play dough Youtube videos because you are that kinda mom sometimes.


Step Seven-

Mix all together and serve. We paired it with a salad and some garlic bread.


So here is how dinner began……..”Hey guys, it is pasta! Eat up!”


Here is how it ended…..IN FUCKING TEARS FOR EVERYONE INCLUDING ME!!! This recipe was great….for Matt and I. The kids hated it. They thought it was so gross. And it wasn’t at all. But they were being super annoying and dramatic. We are sticklers for finishing dinner and that was not happening. Everyone was crying, yelling and throwing fits. I had to excuse myself because I was so irritated (hence my tears.) I would say go for it with this recipe, but for real, it does NOT taste like pasta! Those little punks will know!!!


The Shitty Housewife

Hungarian Chicken Paprikas

From a Hungarian background, this dish reminds me of childhood and turned out to taste just like it! It is surprisingly easy and you more than likely have everything on hand already. I added a pinch of cayenne at the end to add a little kick but that is totally up to your preference. 

Let us know what you think and send us your photos of you make it! 


¼ cup butter + 1 tablespoon

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 medium onion, chopped

1 ½ cups chicken broth 

3 tablespoons Hungarian sweet paprika

½ teaspoon Kosher salt

1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, as needed for coating chicken

1 cup sour cream


Chop chicken into 1” pieces and dry and dust lightly with flour.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat until it is hot. Melt ¼ cup butter. Add chicken, paprika, salt and pepper, and sauté until the chicken is lightly browned. Remove chicken from pan and tent loosely with foil.

Add remaining 1 tablespoon butter to pan and sauté onions until they are translucent. Return chicken to the pan.

Add chicken broth and gently simmer over low heat until chicken is cooked through. Remove chicken from the pan and tent loosely with foil.

Stir 2 tablespoons of flour into the pan and boil until the sauce has thickened to your taste. Add sour cream and return chicken to the pan and coat with the sauce.

Serve with spaetlze or egg noodles.
Now, if your boyfriend is anything like mine,don’t tell him it has sour cream! And ignore my dirty stove top!! Long day as a Shitty Housewife! 

Tomato Pie

So my garden has been AMAZING and out of control. We have more tomatoes and peppers than we know what to do with, hence Tomato Pie. Matt has requested this for awhile and since I have too many tomatoes, I decided it was time. I found some recipes but thought I would spice mine up a bit. Here ya go!!!


Tomatoes, pie crust, mayo, salt and pepper, ham, onions and peppers, shredded cheddar cheese and basil.20160803_170436_HDR

Step One:

Slice tomatoes and set in colander. I only did this for 10 minutes. I really wished I would have set them on paper towels for about an hour. Salt them for extra flavor. 20160803_170937_HDR


Diced up everything. Onions, ham, basil and peppers. I am growing tons of different kinds so I did a variety of bell, havasu and banana. You can use any kind you like!20160803_172230_HDR

Step Three:

Let the tantruming begin


Step Four:

Layer tomatoes, ham, basil, onion and pepper in pie crust.


Step Five:

Mix 2 cups of cheddar and 1 cup of mayo together


Step Six:

Look at a messy play room….AGAIN


Step Six:

Spread cheese/mayo mixture on top of pie.


Step Seven:

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes!


You guys, this was SO good. We ate the entire pie that night. I was so surprised how good it was. And you could skip the ham and make it vegetarian. You could put whatever in there. We all loved it…..well not all……






Open-Faced Spicy Chicken Sandwich


After the tragedy in Nice, France yesterday, I started looking through my photo albums from the times I was there in high school (THANKS MOM & DAD!) I remembered all the beauty, the love, the flowers, the cobblestone streets, the art, the Champs Elysees, and oh my god the FOOD!

Every meal was an event and while each meal wasn’t huge, they were always filling, I never felt
full, and I lost like 15lbs from just walking and eating properly. But it never felt like I was eating “healthy” just eating GOOD! So, I saw this photo of the Croque Monsieur  I had while I was there and tried to find stuff to make it.

Originally, it is like a grilled cheese with ham on the inside and more cheese melted on top with a nice bed of greens on the side. But I didn’t have ham, or normal bread, because why would I have these normal staples in my house?

So! I used what I had and It turned out delicious and SO easy!


-Italian Garlic Herb Bread Loaf (ALWAYS check the sale racks at walmart, I got multiple loafs for $0.47 and put some in the freezer for later

-Mozzarella cheese, shredded or slices

-Jalapeño & Habañero Pepper Jack cheese slices (I saw this Great Value brand and had to get it)

-1 large chicken breast ( I’m talking this chick was a DD)

-Paprika (I’m Hungarian so I put that shit on everything)

-Salad- spring mix or spinach

-Buffalo sauce (*optional- depending on degree of spice you want)

-Ranch dressing (*optional- my boyfriend will be a 2 year old and refuse to eat if it touches his food)

  1. Slice bread into inch wide slices. Preheat oven to 350ishOpen Faced Chicken Sammie (1 of 7)
  2. Slice and cook chicken in pan with olive oil, garlic, and paprika. I put some buffalo sauce into my chicken for an extra spiceOpen Faced Chicken Sammie (2 of 7)
  3. While you are shredding your chicken, put your bread in the oven sprinkled with your mozzarella cheese to melt, only 5-7 minutesOpen Faced Chicken Sammie (3 of 7)
  4. Top your melted cheesy bread with your chicken and slices of the Jalapeño & Habañero Pepper Jack cheese slices and return to oven. Bake for 5-10 minutes and then broil for 3-4minutes.Open Faced Chicken Sammie (5 of 7)
  5. Plate and top with your salad and a drizzle of ranch if you like Open Faced Chicken Sammie (6 of 7)
  6. Eat and enjoy!Open Faced Chicken Sammie (7 of 7)
Let us know what you think! And if you make it, send us photos!

Vegetarian Mexican Mac

So I went to the store to get chicken and was going to make curry. Then Matt came home and we started doing yard work. next thing you know it is almost 6 and I had 3 hungry kids who wanted something FAST. Curry was not happening. I looked in the pantry and saw….you guessed it… NOTHING. Well, except mac and cheese. Then I saw some black beans, so I went with it. Vegetarian Mexican Mac it is…. A Shitty Housewife creation!!!


Boxed Mac and cheese, black beans, corn, onion, tomatoes, spices and cilantro (that you will forget to put on!)


Step 1…Boil the mac noodles

Step 2… Saute the onions and add some tomatoes


Step 3…Add corn and black beans to onions and let it all meld together and heat up


Step 4…..Look at this playrrom mess….AGAIN


Step 5…Mix the mixture and let simmer and add some spices. I used chiptole and cumin.


Step 6…Look at your sweet cooking partner


Step 7….Add bean/corn mixture to noddles and add cheese.


Step 8…Serve to happy kids who will take two bites and say they are full!

That’s it! It was pretty good. Matt and I were going to make something different for us but we got lazy and just ate it. We grabbed some tortillas and salsa and made little wraps though. It was much better that way. But for a last minute, zero in the kitchen meal, I pretty much nailed it.


Chicken with Mushrooms and Mash

So as you all know, I like showcasing recipes of things I already have on hand. This week I found some frozen chicken tenders and decided to work with them. We also had my favorite thing to eat, mushrooms and some potatoes. Hence this recipe. Also, I thought my husband was getting off early……….he wasn’t.

Step One…

Bake Chicken on 350 for 25 minutes. Spice up with salt, peppeer and paprika20160629_184157_HDR

Step Two

Cut up and boil potatoes….this picture looks really gross20160629_184208_HDR

Step Three

Get harrassed from the fatty20160629_184211_HDR

Step Four

Sautee the mushrooms with some olive oil, garlic and onions or shallots. Whatever you have one hand.20160629_190055_HDR

Step Five

Mash Potatoes once tender. Add milk and butter until creamy and delicious (again, this looks gross)20160629_192645_HDR

Step Six

Look in the playroom mess again and die a little bit inside (can you spot the pug?)20160629_184216_HDR

Step Seven

Once mushrooms are tender, add some bottle gravy. That shit is easy and fucking tasty.(excuse the mess)20160629_192641_HDR

Step Eight

Have your kids tell you they suddenly hate mushrooms and give them plain chicken with ketcup.20160629_192705_HDR

Step Nine

Put mushroom sauce on top of chicken. Then put it all in a pyrex because you forgot your husband won’t be home for dinner, your kids hate your cooking and you are too tired and irritated to eat.

Matt and I both ate this for lunch the next day and it was good. For frozen tenders and bottle gravy, it hit our spots. Even if it was a day old!

Sausage and Spinach Pie

So, there is nothing my husband loves more than some sort of meat pastry. If it is meaty and it is in a breaded crust, Matt loves it. I found this recipe, again, searching for recipes with ingredients I had in my fridge. Sometimes this can work out for you, sometimes not so much. It is an extreme twist on a Chicken Pot Pie and I had high hopes for it!

Sausage and Spinach Meat Pie (sounds gross, I know!)
Pound of Italian Sausage
1 Bag of Frozen Spinach
2 pie shells
3 eggs
1 Small Container of Ricotta Cheese
1 Bag of Mozzarella Cheese
Salt and Pepper
Step 1. Brown the Sausage 20160522_170915_HDR
Step 2. Have #1 pick some fresh herbs from the garden…..but no biggie if they are not fresh. Like not a big deal at all.20160522_171023_HDR
Step 3. Mix the eggs, cheese and salt and pepper together in a bowl.20160522_170922_HDR
Step 4. Give in and give #3 a bottle. He missed his nap and it is too close to bedtime to try again. You gotta do what works.20160522_170926_HDR
Step 5. Drain meat (we give the yummy meat juice to the dogs.)20160522_170948_HDR
Step 6. Let meat cool a bit then mix with egg/cheese mixture.20160522_171538_HDR
Step 7. Listen to #2 cry because he is STARVING.20160522_171038_HDR

Step 8. Poor mixture into shell and top with other shell.

Step 9. Bake on 350 for 40  minutes.20160522_182444_HDR
THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!! It was random but so tasty. We paired it with a salad and both agreed adding feta would have made it that much better. Everyone chowed. We had leftovers for days. I would for sure cook this again. I like pleasing my man with a meat pie every once in awhile!

Sausage, Onions and Peppers

So if you read my shittiest move of the week blog, you know that this week has been crazy. (What. Is. New.) Anyway, I have been anti going to the store. I just am not into it. I fact I was just there and bought vitamins that should relieve stress and some granola bars…..see not into grocery shopping at all.

I looked in the fridge and found some Sweet Italian Sausage. We had two really beautiful peppers and an overload of onions. All we needed was buns, and thankfully my husband went and scooped those for me.


Sausage, onions, peppers, buns and condiments of your choice. SERIOUSLY! That is it!

Step 1: Boil the sausage for about 7 minutes

Step 2: Chop up the onions and peppers. Aren’t they so pretty?

Step 3: Give your babies something to do.

Step 4: YouTube an Interpol concert….oh Paul, you are so hot….

Step 5: Saute the onions and peppers

Step 6: Give fatty a cracker….look at that smile

Step 7: Have your husband grill the boiled sausage while you pour a beer.

Step 8:Put everything together on a bun with some spicy mustard and some beans on the side.

This was really yummy, fresh and tasty. Everyone liked it and besides all of those bonuses it was hella cheap!!! Everyone was full and happy and when you are a stressed out mom, during finals week, that is all that matters.



Chicken Flautas

So I decided to go with my favorite nationality of food this week for Fat Kid Friday. MEXICAN!!!!! Every girls wet dream right?! I mean who doesn’t want to eat Mexican 7 days a week? I will tell you who, my husband…I know, I know, how do I love him with such a horrible flaw? I have learned to adjust and compromise but it is hard! I told him I wanted to make a new, fun Mexican dinner and he was actually on board, so I decided on Chicken Flautas.

They are always so yummy when we are out. The kids love them and I knew Matt would not turn them down if they were in his face. But I am trying to watch my cals and the kids are the worst in public right now, so I thought I would attempt them myself. I went with crock pot chicken, baked not fried, and tons of spices. They turned out pretty good!!!! Here we go…
Chicken Breasts
Chicken Broth
Pickled Jalapenos
Flour Tortillas
Shredded Cheese
Can of Cream of Chicken Soup
Spray Oil
Hot Sauce
BBQ Sauce
A ton of spices- I used…cumin, cayenne, onion powder, garlic salt, chilli pepper, paprika, salt and pepper
Step 1:
Gather all your spices and pour them all over your chicken. DON”T BE SCARED! The more spice the better.
Step 2:
Put chicken in the crock pot dosed with spices. Add one cup of broth AND 1/4 cup juice from pickled japs bottle! And throw in some jalapenos for good measure!
Step 3:
Wonder why on earth there are a bunch of sea shells on #3’s high chair
Step 4:
Once chicken is done cooking shred it up in a bowl. I had bone in chicken so it was kinda annoying to do. But it was worth it. Just took some time.
Step 5:
Add 1/4 cup hot sauce, 1/4 cup BBQ sauce, 1 can of cream of chicken soup, 1 Cup shredded cheese to the chicken and mix it up.
Step 6:
Listen to your kid tell you to go away…jerk
Step 7:
Take a couple spoonfuls of the chicken mix and roll in into a tortilla. Mine were big, but you know what I always say… 

the bigger the better.

Step 8:
Spray the roll ups with the spray oil and put in the oven on BROIL. This literally took 2 minutes and they needed to be turned.
Step 9:
Turn them
Step 10:
Set out salsa, sour cream and homemade guacamole…yeah girl, that shit was homemade (just smashed avocado’s, lots of salt and some salsa)
Step 11:
This was really good. And really filling. I was full after 1 (but I was also slamming chips and dip) All the kids ate it and Matt gave me the thumbs up. SCORE

DIY White Chocolate Mocha

In the ongoing effort to save money in our one-income family, I decided to try to cut out my Starbucks. I don’t go every day but an average of at least once a week, which can add up quickly. I looked up a recipe on the beloved place where things go to die, Pinterest, and here we are!


DIY White Chocolate Mocha

Step 1  IMG_3825  IMG_3824

I started by trying to find all of the ingredients. Being the basic bitch that I am, I really only drink Starbucks coffee so finding a coffee pot AND coffee from the last decade was a shocker for me. Once I found it, it took me another 15 minutes to figure out how to use it. Once that happened, I made a simple pot of coffee. Blech. Of coure I got coffee grounds everywhere because that’s just the shitty karma that I have been blessed with.

Step 2  IMG_3827

While the coffee was cooking? No. Brewing. Ok start over. While the coffee was brewing, I started to make the creamy chocolatey goodness that makes the drink so delicious. I was told by the recipe to use the “double boiler method so as not to scorch the milk.” Thank fucking Gerard Butler they had a picture because this bitch aint fancy like that. I managed to fashion something up with a pot and a slightly smaller pyrex glass bowl (a hand-me-down. They make me feel adult though.) Then I put way too much water in the big pot and it kept boiling into the little pot and just pissed me off.

Step 3 IMG_3829 IMG_3828

Once the water is boiling, put about half a cup of milk in the bowl. I put more because I only like a splash of coffee in my coffee (again, basic bitch right here.) Also add the white chocolate chips and start stirring while they melt. Or if you are like me, notice only once you get to this point that you have vanilla chips. What the fuck is a vanilla chip? That sucks.

Step 4 IMG_3830 IMG_3832

Once the milky mixture is melted and ready, pour whatever the fuck amount you want into your mug (this is like the only mug I own and was made by my boyfriend’s grandmother many years ago. She was an amazing potter and painter and had some incredible stories.) Fill it the rest of the way with coffee and add Reddi-Whip on top. I don’t typically have Reddi-Whip on hand but my daughter’s birthday party was in February and she had a hot cocoa bar that failed and the date was still good, so….. I used that shit.


This actually turned out to be a really good drink. I imagine it would have been a whole hell of a lot better with actual white chocolate chips but the vanilla ones just made it creamy and vanilla-y and I actually liked it! And it was relatively simple.

Bottom line, you can save yourself 5 bucks but not the pleasure of being a basic bitch with a green straw. If I am stuck at home, I would totally make this again. And then put it into a Starbucks cup.


If you want, follow us on Pinterest so we can follow you back. We have zilch right now but I promise in a few days we will have plenty of ideas for you to save for “later.”