The rule book out there says fucking on the first date will lead you nowhere. If you are a female, you will be considered a slut, a one night stand, or simply, the guy’s new booty call. If you are a guy, you will be considered THE MAN. But overall the general consensus is said that first date booty will lead a relationship in a horrible direction, right?

Wrong.

I had sex with my husband on our very first date. Yep…there it is. Out there. If any of my friends are reading this right now…yes I lied to you and said I waited till date 3, but I didn’t. I did not take your advice and hold out. We went out on our very first date and hours later we were having our very first romp in my bed.

Why didn’t I tell anyone, even my BFF? I feared judgement. I feared the backlash of feeling like a whore. I feared the truth, but I don’t do that shit anymore. Judging and being judged is for the fucking birds and if you don’t like my decisions, so be it.

So back to first date booty. Matt and I had kissed in his car after an amazing date. So I invited him inside my house. When things got a little more hot, I told him I was NOT going to have sex with him, but then when he stopped, I said screw it.  I wanted it. Badly. So I did it. This hot ass boy who I had been lusting over for 5 months was hooking up with me. This man who made my skin feel like it was on fire when he opened his mouth to speak. This guy who gave me way more than butterflies… there were fucking UNICORNS swimming through my insides because of him. I wanted it more than anything and I did not feel bad about it at all. And 5 years later we have three kids, are happily married and still have a very exciting sex life.

You see, these rules we have created in the dating world for all humans, are just silly. I mean, who are we to judge when the appropriate time for two consenting adults to screw is? I was 32, he was 31 (yep, I am robbing the cradle) we both were attracted to each other and we had some serious sexual energy going between us. WHY NOT?! It was fucking awesome (and no I did not get pregnant this night…I promise!!)

In the morning, with a mild hangover haze, we said our goodbyes and I did not feel the least bit weird. I felt good. Happy. Satisfied. Of course phone calls came in and yes, I told my friends we just made out. I felt bad lying, but I also did not want to hear it from anyone. I knew I would see Matt again. And not just because of the good booty.

Him and I were two adults with a lot of good vibes flowing. Sex is an awesome, natural and fun thing and I wanted to experience that with him. Quickly. From the moment I laid eyes on him, months before our date, I wanted to have sex with him. The first time he opened his mouth to speak to me at his job and I heard that hot ass Boston accent, I wanted to rip his clothes off. 5 months of him and I sharing a client through our work, I thought dirty things about him. When we would see each other for 5 minute increments and “work talk” I would walk away so hot and bothered, Masturbation Monday became Masturbation Matt-day. Like for real. I wanted this dude and when the opportunity arose (pun intended) I pounced on that shit! (again, pun totally intended.)

The entire night on our first date, I was thinking about it. Yeah, I was thinking about how cool of a guy he actually was, (which I was not expecting) but I was also wishing the end of the night would come, so we could too…..

I am a strong believer in going for things that you want. Especially as a woman. If you want something, you need to do it. You deserve it!! Whatever it is. A job, an idea, an item, a lay…..fucking get it. Be realistic and be safe, but do it. I wanted to have sex with Matt as soon as I could. And I did and it was the best decision I have ever made.

There is nothing wrong with first date fornication. If you want it, I say go for it. Whether you see each other again or not is not going to depend on sex. If you have sex, hell yeah. If you don’t, hell yeah too. It is whatever you want. But let’s’ stop the judge-y, “you’re a slut if you do” talk. It is just silly.  In my eyes, you are not a slut if you do. You are a fucking go getter and man, I hope you are getting it.

When I found out I was going to enter the world of motherhood, I assumed I would be welcomed with open arms by fellow moms out there. We are all on the same page, raising a child right? But boy was I wrong. I didn’t realize I was entering a new world full of “I am better at this than you” attitudes. A world where putting me down for my decisions as a mother could be so easily stated. A place where judging another mom happened as quickly as newborn diapers needed changing. A place full of MOM BULLIES.

You all know who I am talking about. Mom know it alls. Moms who do no wrong. Moms who feel the need to pick you and your parenting style apart. Moms who are a member of every mom group online, in real life and who know absolutely every fucking child event in your city. And moms who love making you feel bad for the way you are raising your kid.

Although it was nobodies business, I still felt the need to justify my reasons for expanding my family so soon. BUT WHY? Why did these women, most of whom I barely knew, care about what was going on in my life and with my kids?

It is crazy to me that people can be so absorbed with someone else. My actions as a mom do not reflect their actions as a mom, so why the fuck do they care? My kids get told no. My kids get sent to their room. My kids watch TV, some days a lot. My kids eat junk food. My kids are safe and happy and that is all that matters. There is no reason to push your views, your ideas, your ways of parenting on mine.

Moms can be the meanest, most judgemental, insecure group of females I have ever encountered…but why? We are all fighting the same battle, so let’s stop picking on each other and tag team this motherhood shit together. That woman you are bullying and degrading is just parenting a little differently than you. But at 8 pm you both want the same thing, bedtime, a break and a breath to yourself. We all want to reflect on our day and think about the positive experience our kid had, not the mean mommy who picked on us.

I think it is about time we all ease up on each other and start supporting a bit more. If you see a mom shaking a bottle of formula, offer to hold the baby while she preps. Don’t glare her down. She is doing her very best. If you see some dirty, tantruming kids, bring them over a lollipop, their mom is trying so hard and needs your help, not your dirty looks. And when some mommy is opening up about a certain parenting style you don’t agree with, just listen to them, be open-minded and save your backlash for later to your husband. Lord knows he is probably used to the bullying too.