Shittiest Move of the Week

e36b684b985d00de752ff069d91b07abWell, here we are again. Friday. And thank god. This week has gone by fast, but it is always nice to see Friday arrive. My shittiest move this week has been an ongoing move since Tuesday. My incredible in laws came into town this last weekend for Kellen’s birthday. When they come here, they don’t relax. They basically work their asses off so Matt and I can play a huge game of life catch up. We work the same shifts since they can watch the kids, we get an insane amount of chores done, we get errands done, we throw parties, we go out to eat alone, WE do so much and THEY bust their butts to entertain and watch the kids. There will NEVER be a way to thank them for all they do when they get here. EVER. I just hope they know how appreciative we are.

Anyway, when they left, the house needed a good clean up. Since I got so much work done while they were here, I have been here alone with the kids since they left while Matt works. Everyday, my mission has been to deep clean the house. Has that happened….nope. It is still pretty trashed (for our standards) and I still just keep staring at the mess thinking, I will deal with you later. Well, tomorrow I go back to work and we all know what that means. Matt will clean it. Him being a little OCD about the house and being alone here, I am pretty sure I will come home to a beautiful place and a slightly irritated husband. The shitty part is, I am kinda banking on it. Like, I feel like I am purposely not cleaning, just straightening up because I know he will tomorrow. Shitty, I know. But isn’t it good that I am admitting it??? But he does do a much better job and he likes it….right???? And hey, don’t I have to live up to my claimed name….The Shitty Housewife.



Shittiest Move of the Week

So, since I failed a class this last semester I decided to take the summer off. Get my head right, relax (hahahahahahaha) and just get my bearings on life. But since busy is my only way of survival I have decided that if I was not taking classes, I would instead job hunt. Send out resumes, apply, write cover letters and hopefully interview just so I can get some practice under my belt. My goal with going back to school and getting my degree is to make a better life for my family. To find a stable job with room for growth and benefits. So we can live a bit more comfortably and so all the weight is not on Matt. 

Well, I have been sticking to it. I have been researching career options, job titles and companies. One particular company I have my eyes on posted a great job last week and I ponced. This company gets incredible reviews and seems to really take care of their employees. I filled out the application, nailed my cover letter and surprise surprise this week received an email back!!!

I was taken to the next step which was an assessment test. So I went into this test thinking it was just going to be a basic assessment. Man was I wrong. 2 hours and an ungodly amount of stress later I finished. The end of the test had me answering multiple choice math questions while reading fake emails that would only be posted for 15 seconds with information that would eventually pop up in another set of questions. It was the most ridiculous thing ever. Seriously, I spent more time swearing at my computer than learning about the company. And what is this really going to show them? Wouldn’t they rather meet me in person and see how warm, kind and fucking adorable I am rather then see if I can multi-task some bullshit math and remember an email that was posted for 15 seconds???? 

Anyway, pretty sure I bombed the shit and blew my chance with them. I guess we will wait and see. Until then, I will keep applying and practicing. At some point I won’t fail at one of these tests right???? Happy Friday


The Shitty Housewife

Shittiest Move of the Week

So this week I thought I would change it up.  I have a terrible cold and I just feel physically shitty. So instead of me talking about some lame thing I did this week, I want to hear what you did. I want you guys to make me feel better. Post here on the blog, on our Facebook page or even a comment on Instagram. Seriously, I feel like shit. Make me laugh!!! Tag it with #shittiestmoveoftheweek. Do it!

Shittiest Move of the Week

It was Sunday. Mother’s Day. It had been a long day already. My grades had been posted and I made the mistake of looking at them. One Sunday…Mother’s Day. One C. Two B’s. And in Business Statistics…..a a big fat fucking F. Yep, I failed a class. Two semesters away from graduating with my Bachelors in Human Resource Management, and I failed a class.

12 weeks. Hours and hours and hours of studying. So much time away from my family. And $1000….GONE. For good. And now, on top of those things, I have to retake it. Pay again. And since I was cutting graduation and credits so close, my new completion date has been moved back an entire semester. IT BLOWS!!!!!!!!

I freaked. The tears starting flowing as well as the swear words. Poor Matt didn’t know what to do. I have had a lot of set backs and bad news lately, but this took me over the edge. I immediately emailed the teacher, my adviser, fucking everyone who was in charge. Telling them failure was not an option. Pretty much demanding a D. Explaining that I tried and that should be all that matters. I was a disaster. For days. I still am bummed now as I write this. My adviser got back in touch with me explaining the grade and that you do not get points for trying. This is college and you earn your grade through points. I failed and there was nothing anyone could do.

I know I should not beat myself up, but I am. There was countless times I should have been studying instead of doing all the other things that I do. I know I take on so many projects at once, but this is school. It is expensive and I SUCK at math. I should have buckled down more. Once I paid for this class I should have fully committed right there. But I didn’t.

So here I am, having to do this class all over again. Pretty shitty if you ask me! Like I am going to understand this shit the second go round. At least now I know the routine of the class and fingers, toes, legs and boobs crossed I can pull off a D!

Shittiest Move of the Week

Happy Friday. And forgive this for being late… shitty of me….

Well, this week the hubs and I decided that we would do only fruits and veggies for 10 days. A full detox. We have not been living healthy. We have been living busy. Whatever is easy and fast to get us through this whirlwind of life we are currently on. We were pretty gross with out habits and that needed to change. We are heading out of town next week so we decided only fruits and vegetables until we leave.

It has not been hard…..for Matt. He is feeling good, looking good, just overall enjoying it. He keeps finding all these recipes, is super positive, has this shit under control. Me on the other hand….I am a hungry, cranky bitch who wants a piece of bread really freaking bad.

He actually loves it so much he wants to start doing this Monday through Thursday, weekly and then eating whatever on the weekends. I love his enthusiasm. I love how much he is enjoying this. I love his idea….BUT WHAT THE FUCK????? Really.

Look, it has been great. The kids are eating so many great, fresh, healthy foods. I do feel good. I have not looked this good since before having kids (I will credit Kayla Istines for that though) but damn, I want some cheese.

So that is my crappy move. Just talking shit about my husbands new way of living. I am on board but kinda pissed about it. I am counting the day, actually hours, actually minutes until we get in that car for our road trip and we get a break from this diet…..corn nuts, you better be ready!!!


Shittiest Move of The Week


So this week is finals. And let’s just say the only word for my preparedness in this department is…..shitty. I mean first off, I thought finals were next weekend. I thought this whole semester that this week was a study week and next week were exams. So when I got the updates from my teachers wishing us luck this weekend, I was a bit stunned.

And here I am. I should be studying, prepping, flashcarding, or some shit. And what am I doing? Drinking a beer on this beautiful Thursday night, gazing at my new garden, while my children frolic and scream, all around me.

I just don’t have any left to give these classes. I am so worn out from these chapters and assignments and discussions. BUT THIS IS IT! Seriously, a couple more days and my time and chances to succeed are over. And let me tell you…I need success. I am going into these finals with some pretty shitty grades. Doing well is key. But I have not put in my time this week. So that is my shittiest move. Knowing these exams are here and not picking up my books to study.

But I need to stop. I have until 3 pm today with my kids, then heading to work. After that I sit down and end two classes. Hopefully I can pull some magic out and do okay. That is all I am asking for. Just to do ok…C’s get degrees right?! Hopefully the saying D’s get degrees applies to that as well!

Shittiest Move of the Week


So as always, Fridays I like to talk about the crappiest thing I have done during the week. Sadly, this week, it wasn’t just one event. It has been on going for me, all week. MY KIDS HAVE BEEN MAKING ME CRAZY. I don’t know what is happening. Nothing with them has probably changed, I just have had zero patience. And when you have 3 small kids, the only thing you need to survive a day is just that…patience.

I’ve done a lot of scolding, sending to rooms, me walking out of rooms to take a breath. I’ve done it all. A lot this week. I refuse to blame it on all of the things I need to get done during the day, that I can’t seem to do, because I am in full parenting mode. And I know I can just stay up later, wake up earlier, do more during the baby’s nap time, while the older O’s are resting. But whatever the reason is that I have been extra frustrated this week, I just need to remind myself…. it is not their fault.

They are kids. It is their job to be wild, crazy, annoying, rebellious, needy, cranky, and whiny. That is all they know. Now if my husband was acting these ways, well that would be another story. But they are kids… our kids. They get these things from us!!! They are only acting out because it is a part of their journey. I just need to figure out how to make it a part of mine without getting so feisty.

So this week, I was just shitty for not recognizing this earlier. And trust me, I am not beating myself up over it. I know, I know, we all have our moments. I am just here to openly tell you my crappy moves through this blog. Maybe in hopes that someone will relate. Maybe someone else will wake up with some rage and read this and be like “Oh yeah, I’ve kinda been a bitch too. Maybe I should settle that shit down.” So that is my plan. We are embarking on the weekend and we have lots of fun shit planned, we don’t need my cranky ass getting in the way. Lord knows we have the best three employees here at the O House for that.



Shittiest Move of the Week

Surprisingly, I did not have a lot to pick from this week. This week was one of those weeks that went insanely fast and between work, school, kids, life….Matt and I barely saw each other. I wasn’t too bad of a mom either. Everyone survived (so far!)  I did shitty in school, but what else is new.

I only worked one day this week. Just one. Matt has been busting his ass all week long at work. But I worked…today. I came home and the house was immaculate. Everything cleaned, put away. Fucking shining. I thanked him for the beautiful looking house. He said..
“Yep, I am not a shitty housewife.”
I laughed. Nope, you aren’t honey. That is my job. So what is my shittiest move this week??? Owning that when it comes to housewifing…I AM THE SHIT. The Shittiest.

Shittiest Move of the Week


So most of you don’t know that I am a full time college student. IT BLOWS. I like hate it.

After high school I took some time off and waited tables. I then went to hair school. It was perfect. A school where I was learning exactly what I wanted to learn. Fast forward to a few years go when I was just a full time stay at home mom, I realized the importance of an education. I was looking for jobs and everyone loved my experience but “you have no education.”
So here I am. In my 3rd year of a 4 year process. And I have lost all steam. I hate it. I dread it. I procrastinate it. I am the least proactive student alive. And this week it all came to a head…
As of yesterday….I AM ON ACADEMIC PROBATION. What the fuck, right??? I have never been in trouble! Never even sent to detention in school and now I am on god damn probation???!!!!
I have to write a letter to the Dean. Explain why I am so shitty and give him my plan on turning this around. Ugh, what the hell. School sucks. I am busy. I am not interested and after a full day of waiting on everyone hand and foot the last fucking thing I want to do is study Business Fucking Statistics……
So that’s it. It was proven this week that I am not super women. I can’t do it all. I can’t take on anymore. All I can do is try….and be shitty!

The Shitty Housewife Does Carnival Rides

So yesterday was my daughter’s birthday. All week we had big plans to surprise her and take her to the fair. We got there and she and her brothers were all smiles. Rides, carney food, rides, games, rides…….my worst nightmare.

See, I hate rides. Roller coasters, haunted houses, spinning rides. Pure hate. I get scared and sick. Who the fuck wants to be scared and sick. But it is a fair and it is her birthday so as her mom, I will go on these kiddie rides and stand there and clap. I mean, I am not THAT shitty.
Well, I almost escaped, but of course the inevitable happened. My husband wants me to go on an adult ride with him. This spinning, up and down bullshit ride. I reminded him that I hated rides…
“Matt, really? I will freak out and get sick.”
“Jan, don’t be lame. It is one ride.”
Well, I did it. Peer pressure from my main squeeze and my girl Nicole.
Night ruined. I was so fucking ill by the time that shit was over I could barely get off the ride. I was seeing double and more nauseous than I was during first trimester pregnancy. We quickly left, rushed home and I spent the next ten minutes puking in the bathroom. I couldn’t even eat the birthday cake I made for Viv. Yuck…..
The good thing is Matt felt so bad for pressuring me, I got some good “I’m Sorry” booty, but to be honest, I was still kinda seasick, I didn’t enjoy that jostle either……