So I was feeling like it was a crockpot type of day. I freaking love that thing. It is such a time saver and so damn easy. We had some chicken thighs in the freezer so I decided it was time to use them. Mainly because I didn’t want to go to the store. (Fuck that shit)
So my husband loves some comfort food. Especially the meat and potatoes kinda comfort food. Well lately we have been going non stop. Life is spinning faster than ever before, and I can tell he is pretty stressed out these days. So they other night I decided to surprise him with his favorite homemade dish. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. (Good Housewife, right???!!!)
The original recipe and video: Lemon Pepper Chicken and Creamy Rice
Buzzfeed food videos are my downfall, I swear. As are one pot meals. When you are the one cooking AND doing the dishes you want your job as easy as possible. And I know the feeling of bittersweet rage after Nick sweetly makes us a meal and uses everything in the kitchen, and then some.
- Lemon Pepper
- Garlic, minced
- Olive Oil
- 2 lbs Chicken Thighs With Skin
- 4Tbsp. Butter
- 1 Onion, diced
- cup Rice
- 4 cups Chicken Broth
- 1 1/2 cup Milk
- Pepper to taste
Beware, I did take a few artistic liberties. These include avoiding all kinds of bullshit measurements. I don’t trust anyone who tells me to limit my butter or alcohol intake.
Preheat your oven to 350˚F
Combine lemon pepper, paprika, and garlic in a small bowl. In a large oven-proof pot (make sure your pot doesn’t have plastic handles as Nick so conveniently pointed out as I was placing it in the oven), heat olive oil on medium heat. Season both sides of the chicken and place in the pot skin side down. Cook until browned. Remove chicken from the pot and set aside. (Don’t worry! It will finish cooking when you put it in the oven.)
With a paper towel, carefully wipe out excess fat or don’t because fat is delicious leaving the seasoning. On medium high, melt a shit ton of butter in the pot and add the diced onions and minced garlic. Cook until onions are translucent (1-2 minutes). Add the rice and stir until it becomes translucent (1-2 minutes). Pour in the white wine Jack Daniels… because why not? and let it cook until most of the wine Jack Daniels has evaporated (about two minutes). Add the chicken broth, milk, and a dash of pepper and stir. Bring it to a simmer. Place the chicken back into the pot. Cover with a lid or foil and bake for 30 minutes (remove lid after 20 minutes). Take shot of Jack Daniels, or a lovely Jack and GingerAle.
Remove the chicken from the pot and broil on high for 2-3 minutes or until the skin has nicely browned. Add
the other two Tbsp. more butter, parmesan, 1/2 cup of milk and parsley to the rice. Stir until well combined. Return the chicken on top of the rice and serve.
It turned out decent. I didn’t cook it long enough to the rice was a bit crunchy still but shit, after a few shots of my cooking helper, Jack, who gives a damn?
So yeah, it was yummy. But damn…those firemen were yummier!
6 slices rye bread, I chose dark Jewish, showing my leanings towards not circumcising boys, its just barbaric.
1 lb. pastrami or corned beef thinly sliced or shaved.
1 can or 14.5oz. Sauerkraut.
4 cups Swiss cheese shredded.
1 cup dill pickles, diced to a likeable size.
1 cup milk.
1/3 cup 1000 island dressing.
1/4 cup yellow mustard.
3 large eggs
2 teaspoon caraway seeds (optional)
Preheat oven to 350.
Lightly spray or grease pan.
Cut 4 pieces rye bread into 1/2 inch or smaller cubes.
Place the remaining two pieces. of rye bread into a food processor and grind into fine breadcrumbs. (I just rolled them in between my hands to get desired effect)
Spread cubed bread along bottom of dish then cover with 1/2 of your pastrami supply and cover evenly with sauerkraut then add the remainder of meat, spread your diced dill pickles evenly, 2 cups of shredded Swiss cheese is then followed by caraway seeds.
In a medium bowl whisk together milk, 1000 island salad dressing and mustard then add your eggs (yolk and all hippy) whisk until all ingredients are melded together.
Pour mixture evenly over the entire top of casserole.
Topping the entire pile of deliciousness with your finely ground bread crumbs.
Place casserole in oven and bake for 40-45 minutes uncovered the mixture should be bubbling with love and the top should have a natural golden tan, not tanning bed orange.
Remove from oven, remembering that the casserole will be VERY, VERY HOT! And that’s exactly how you should serve it.
We chose to use pastrami but I’m sure that corned beef would be just as delicious.
Warning: not for Vegans and we planned it that way.
So with the Super Bowl this week (hey don’t forget to enter The Shitty Housewife’s Super Bowl Contest!!!!) and the quick bout of beautiful Atlanta weather we had this week, Matt and I decided it was time to get our BURGER on. There is nothing better than homemade burgers on the patio in awesome weather (well actually, there is a lot that is better than that…..good sex, long vacations, a full nights sleep, being rich, but we are talking dinner here people, that’s it.)
Happy Friday people, or as I like to call it, Happy Start to Drink Beer Day!
Another week has past and numerous funny, inappropriate, and shitty things have happened in The Shitty Housewife’s Household. Now once again, I could pick my worst for this week, but I thought I would instead take you down memory lane. Super Bowl memory lane, when I was the Shittiest House Guest EVER!
Last year at this time I was weeks away from giving birth to my third baby. Now I may call myself The Shitty Housewife, but I do also think I am a bad ass. And even though the baby could have been arriving at any minute, I decided to take an 8 hour road trip with Matt, Viv and Kell to visit his sister for her Super Bowl party. You know, because most women travel that far with labor impending….again, I think I am a bad ass.
The trip was going great. I tried my best to keep up. I walked the beaches, I stayed out late with the adults. I pretended that the actual human inside of me was not a big deal. So the day of the Super Bowl, we had a long menu of unhealthy food prepared. I mean, a variety of meats doused in sauce, dips galore, desserts aplenty and of course….CHEESE.
I gorged. Liked took the word gorged to a whole new level. I was actually disgusted with myself at one point, but I was 8 months pregnant, it was the Super Bowl and as everyone else drank and partied, I just sat and ATE.
I stayed up for the whole game and then exhaustion hit. I was full, tired and ready for a great night sleep.
Suddenly at 3 am shooting pains in my abdominal hit hard. I shot out of bed.
“Holy Shit, am I in labor?!” I thought. I waddled out of bed and stood up. It just got worse. I was keeled over. Matt was in the other room sleeping with the kids. Then I realized I was going to vomit….NOW. I ran as fast as my big ol self could to the bathroom and as soon as I opened the door I started puking. I grabbed the trash can and threw up. Crawled my way to the toilet and spent the next 2 hours throwing up all the yummy food I had just spent hours eating.
When I was done, I cleaned up as best as I could in my exhausted, puke aftermath haze. I put the trash can outside the front door and waddled back to bed.
The next morning was a blur. We woke up late and had to rush to get on the road. I knew I looked as awful as I felt because everyone was asking me what was wrong. I just wanted to get in the car, get this long road trip over with, get home and never eat again. About an hour into our drive home I was telling Matt what had happened, when I suddenly realized I never cleaned out the bathroom trashcan. I just left it outside of their front door, puke stained.
I think I cut cheese out of my diet for the next 3 weeks, until Cam made his arrival. This year, Super Bowl will be much different. I will still eat, I will still enjoy the food, but maybe, just maybe I will have a little self control. And I won’t be ordering any wicker trashcans off Amazon…
Well guys, I failed. I promise, I had it is my schedule to make a meatloaf and tell you all how I made it. Because, honest to god, I make a good fucking meatloaf. But my plan got screwed up. My schedule changed. We had to rush out of town last week and we got back super late Tuesday. Wednesday was a blur, Thursday I ended up working a double so Matt could spend some QT with the kids and when I got home last night I had forgotten about a school assignment (because I’m shitty.) So needless to say after working a long shift and an hour of Intro to Human Resource Management homework, I was sure as shit not about to cook.
Step 1- Give the The Fat Kid anything quick you can find in the fridge. He is hungry and mad. Mac and Chz…PERFECT!!!Step 2- Leftover pizza?! Wonderful. Heat it up, throw on some fresh spices, the older O’s will be in heaven!Step 3- Look at your household in despair. Will they ever, ever, ever pick up after themselves.Step 4- Make yourself your millionth cup of coffee for the dayStep 5- Tell them they get a special treat once they clean up and eat their pizza. They will be so happy for their reward.Step 6- Longingly gaze at the beer that is waiting for you. It is Friday. FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK
One of the most slackest parts of my day is breakfast. While my husband makes these yummy elaborate morning meals that everyone in the house swoons over, I am the queen of offering dry cereal, a granola bar or microwaved waffles.
I know…I’m shitty.
Well this week for Fat Kid Friday, I decided to up my game. Since mornings exhaust me I thought I would try overnight crockpot oatmeal. This way, when we all wake up I have a yummy, healthy, fulfilling meal waiting for everyone. And I won’t start the day feeling like the shittiest cook ever.
- 1 cup steel cut oats
- 1-2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries (I used 2 cups frozen)
- 2 cups water
- 2 cups milk
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 2 teaspoons vanilla
- Optional garnishes: chopped nuts, nut butter, fresh or dried fruit, granola, shredded coconut, honey, additional milk ( I didn’t have any of these, so I just added some brown sugar)
Step One- Pour yourself a bowl of cereal. It is 9 pm and you are making oatmeal. You deserve a yummy snack.
Step Two- Gather ingredients. You know you bought these steel cut oats a long time ago when you were trying to be healthy, but that instant shit is just too easy. Now here is your chance!
Step 3- Get your crock pot
Step 4- Make sure it is plugged in. (remember that time you did not do this step and 4 hours into your crockpotting adventure you had raw meat…..and you had to pick up the dinner tab out that night?)
Step 5- Go look at your family who is all relaxing and chilling out, while you are crockpotting…seriously, WHAT THE FUCK…can today be done already?
Step 6-Pour all of the ingredients into the crockpot and set on low.
Step 7- GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP
Step 8- Wake up and check on crockpot with so much excitement because you are a goddess who made a great breakfast.
Step 9- Offer it to toddlers. Viv (of course) approves. Kellen (of course) hates it and wants a frozen waffle
Step 10- Put some on baby’s highchair plate and watch this human go from adorable to disgusting in minutes.
Step 11- Drink your coffee. Because seriously, that’s all we housewives really care about in the morning. And throw some Baileys in it
This actually was really good. Two out of three kids approved and the hubs liked it too. I have to force feed myself breakfast because I am never that hungry when I wake up. But I had a few spoon fulls and thought it was tasty. I would make it again, but next time I would spray pam on the inside of the pot. It is 5 hours since breakfast right now and I am still scrubbing that piece of shit.