Category: Daily Shit

Facebook Politicians

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Welp, here we are. A few weeks away from the primaries for the presidential elections. And what else are we in the middle of….insane amounts of blurbs, “facts” and views about people and their political perspective.

Look, I enjoy talking politics, even if I do not agree with the person I am chatting with. What I can not stand is someone straight up talking shit about my views and my ideas without even hearing mine out.

People who sit back and claim an entire political party is lazy or poor or whatever the fuck people think based on some silly post they read one time. Have your views but respect others. That is the whole idea behind the system we have. We CAN think differently and that is OKAY! But people who say all democrats are on welfare and all republicans are crazy Christians are just fucking ridiculous and it needs to stop.

In the end we all want our country to be better. We all want more money and we all want war to stop (at least I hope we all want that.) So let us stop this generalization and be okay with the idea that we are all different. If we keep bashing each other for having different ideals with politics than what is the point of the system we have.

I do not mind the educational posts, those are fine. I am talking about the stupid, bullshit, hateful ones that pretty much slam an entire group of humans. Let’s be honest, there is not the perfect candidate out there. I mean there is, but Justin Timberlake isn’t running…so let’s just do our research, pick our person and keep it to ourselves sans the lame Facebook posts.

Reuben Casserole

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Ingredients:

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6 slices rye bread, I chose dark Jewish, showing my leanings towards not circumcising boys, its just barbaric.

1 lb. pastrami or corned beef thinly sliced or shaved.

1 can or 14.5oz. Sauerkraut.

4 cups Swiss cheese shredded.

1 cup dill pickles, diced to a likeable size.

1 cup milk.

1/3 cup 1000 island dressing.

1/4 cup yellow mustard.

3 large eggs

2 teaspoon caraway seeds (optional)

 

 

Directions:

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Preheat oven to 350.

Lightly spray or grease pan.

Cut 4 pieces rye bread into 1/2 inch or smaller cubes.

Place the remaining two pieces. of rye bread into a food processor and grind into fine breadcrumbs. (I just rolled them in between my hands to get desired effect)

Spread cubed bread along bottom of dish then cover with 1/2 of your pastrami supply and cover evenly with sauerkraut then add the remainder of meat, spread your diced dill pickles evenly, 2 cups of shredded Swiss cheese is then followed by caraway seeds.

In a medium bowl whisk together milk, 1000 island salad dressing and mustard then add your eggs (yolk and all hippy)  whisk until all ingredients are melded together.

Pour mixture evenly over the entire top of casserole.

Topping the entire pile of deliciousness with your finely ground bread crumbs.

Place casserole in oven and bake for 40-45 minutes uncovered the mixture should be bubbling with love and the top should have a natural golden tan, not tanning bed orange.

Remove from oven, remembering that the casserole will be VERY, VERY HOT! And that’s exactly how you should serve it.

We chose to use pastrami but I’m sure that corned beef would be just as delicious.

Warning: not for Vegans and we planned it that way.

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The Shittiest Housewife: Shittiest Move of the Week

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So my 2.5 year old has become the worst sleeper. I mean….SO BAD.

He goes to bed just fine, but wakes up all night, whining that dreaded word….MMMMOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY.

It has become a problem. I hate going to bed because I know he is going to be waking up whining all night. Maybe some parents would feel bad and coddle him about it, which I have in the past, but he is just a whiney kid. In general. And is in a stage that he is, hmmm, well, how can I put this nicely…HE IS JUST AN ASSHOLE.

So I really look forward to down time. But the past week or so, it is all night. He doesn’t need anything, doesn’t want anything. He is just so used to whining, he does it in his sleep. Well last night he fell out of his bed. Twice.

The first time, I went in to check and helped him back in his bed. There he was, in all his asshole glory. As irritated as I was I went back to bed after a bit. An hour and a half later, the same thing. He is crying a bit more this time but I was done. I went in, helped him back up and did some mommy scolding I am not too proud of. I slammed the door shut and swore bad words under my breath on the way back into bed. Matt, barely alive, whispers, “Everything okay?” My response…

“Yep, just Kellen being an asshole.”

I wake up in the morning and go to work. I get a text from Matt telling me Kellen’s complaining that his arm and neck hurt. He hurt himself falling out of bed. Matt called to doctor to see if he needed to be seen. He didn’t, just needed some pain reliever. I of course felt terrible. Here he was hurt and here I was yelling and frustrated.

He feels better now….but man don’t I feel like an asshole.

The Shitty Housewife Does Kayla Istines

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So here we go. Smack in the middle of week 1 with Kayla.

A quick overview again. You do her workouts M, W, F and your own cardio Tuesday and Thursday. Her workouts are 2 sets of 4 different exercises. You do one set for 7 minutes, the next set for 7 minutes. Then repeat. That is it. 28 minutes long. But let me tell you, those 7 minutes are TOUGH. I mean, I was staring at the stopwatch waiting for the seconds to tick. Partially because I am out of shape. Partially, because I have become lazy with being motivated to work on myself. Combine those two things and this shit is hard.

I did as she asked and took some before shots. Again, for having three babies in a row, I look good. But I need to feel good. But I did see a lot of work that needs to be done. I am supposed to take before and after shots at week 4, so if I am not too embarrassed I will share.
The good thing about this work out is the whole 7 minutes then a quick break thing. I am doing this workout at home surrounded by kids and dogs. If they need something, they can wait 7 minutes and during my break if I need to attend to them, I can. If they are cool, I quickly move on to the next round because I want this shit over with. But as a mom and a busy person in general, that break is helpful.
Monday was her leg routine.
Tuesday I did 45 minutes of cardio (the elliptical) at the Y. Good for a workout and the kids love the daycare there.
Today, Wednesday, was her ab and arm workout. Let’s just say typing this hurt. And my legs are jelly and my ass is sore as shit. So yeah, something is working.
I have already planned for my cardio tomorrow and Friday her workout is optional. I will see how I feel or see how much beer I plan on taking in over the weekend. Maybe an extra workout wouldn’t be so bad!
The cool thing is there is big Kayla social media support. If you tag her and her Bikini Body Girl (#bbg) anywhere, you get mad positive feedback from other gals doing it. There is nothing more motivating than that!
I’ll keep on and keep ya posted. But if you see me like I was straddling a horse (or my husband) all night, just know, it was nothing that cool.

Bitch

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I’m that girl. I’m annoying, I bitch, I nag. At least that is what I am told…

My boyfriend has asked me many times why I feel the need to constantly ‘bitch’ or act like “nothing he does is good enough.” He says it wears him down to not want to to anything since he “can’t ever do anything right.”

And every time he says something like that, a little part of me dies. As cliché as that fucking sounds, it’s true. Because I am always trying to think of ways to build him up, tell him how in love with him I am and how much I appreciate what he does for me and our little girl. 9 times out of 10 when he responds like that, I sincerely didn’t know I was coming off that way.

In my head, I am asking him nicely and politely to do something. I am simply asking if that is the best idea or could we tweak it a little bit, because I am just not sure or simply curious. I am asking him a simple question that I think is really no big deal to answer.

In his head, I am nagging him to do something. I am undermining his idea and arguing. I am pushing something that he doesn’t want to deal with.  I have an attitude.

I try really hard to not be that girl, but I don’t know what else to do. He wants to do things or buy things that I don’t agree with and I try my hardest to not say shit. Sometimes I am successful. Sometimes I let things slip and blow my fucking top. But often times, I just want him to know my opinion on things, or to talk things out instead of just what he says, goes. But he doesn’t see it that way.

I guess what I need is for us to find common ground. A way to understand each other. Because a lot of the time when he thinks I’m ‘bitching’ I get so stunned that he thought that, that I don’t know what else to say. I want him to see that I’m really not meaning anything by what I say, and help me find a way to say things better. I have tried to work with him. He wants to play video games to “relax” and instead gets so pissy that me walking in front of him annoys him. So I try to learn to play with him. I sucked, but he saw that I put effort in and I think he appreciated it.

Any tips would be helpful, from guys and girls alike. I would love to find a way to communicate with my non-communicative boyfriend without sounding like that girl.

And if nothing else works, he knew about my attitude coming into the relationship so I guess he will have to deal, right? Fuck.

I Hate Valentine’s Day

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I hate Valentine’s Day. I do. I think it is the most ridiculous day ever. To some it is a day to feel pressure to make your significant other feel like the king/queen of the world. To others, it is a day to feel bad about not having a significant other at all. Both ideas are just so stupid. I am a hard-core believer in giving love every single day. I am a married woman who has fully committed herself to my man. He and I both deserve to feel love every damn day from each other. And we may not actually say the words “I love you” every day (we actually don’t…AND THAT IS OKAY!!!) but we show it in our actions and with other words. I get a daily “I am so proud of you” “You are such a great mom” “Thank you for cooking” and “Nice Ass” daily. His actions by providing for me, doing chores, taking the kids somewhere, creating this beautiful life with me, show me how much he loves me. And I always make sure I do the same back. When we are having adult fun time, we really show each how much we love each other by doing the one amazing act he and I only do with each other. WE ARE COMMITTED and no flowers or chocolate can compare to that.

 

I hate Valentine’s Day. I do. So fucking much. I never celebrate it. I never had and never will. He has always done something on this awful day for me. Our first Valentine’s Day together, I was 8 months pregnant with our first child. He came home with cheese dip, flowers, Payday candy bars and a perfect card. I know he felt like he had too… it’s the day to do things like that. I explained to him that I was not lying, I hate it, we do not celebrate it. Year 2, he still didn’t get it. He came home with flowers, high life, a card and cooked me a wonderful dinner. Again, we had the conversation. No more! Year 3… same routine. Last year, I was 8 months pregnant again. I came home from running errands to a brand new pink laptop. Matt and I have had 4 fights. This was number 3. I was angry, yelling, being such a bitch. Finally he yelled back, which he does not do. You see, Matt has probably yelled at every single human being he knows at some point in his life, but never me. Ever. Except last Valentine’s. “Take the computer and be thankful Jan. It is a gift. Get over it.” I felt awful. My hatred of this day made me sound ungrateful. But I wasn’t. I just don’t want him to feel forced to make me feel special. I don’t want love to ever feel like it is something that has to be shown. To me it takes so much away from what is so incredibly magical about being in love. Being deeply in love is one of the most powerful feelings I’ve ever felt. And I have thought I had felt it before, but with Matt it is so different. I hold it so high above everything in my life that I don’t want it to ever be demoted to some commercialized thing.

 

I hate Valentine’s Day. I do. And I need to get over it. I have kids and their school will do the Valentine’s Day card exchanges and dances. I will teach my daughter to go and stand tall with a date or alone. I will teach my sons to play the game nicely and not be assholes to people they may or may not like. They will want to celebrate this stupid day. Clearly my husband enjoys it (although after last years fiasco he may have learned his lesson.) I know I need to get over it. But I just feel strongly about it. Love is not something we should ever feel bad about not having. Love is never something that should be cheapened oversized balloons. Love is an expression of two people who truly understand each other on an incredibly deep basis. Love is accepting someone for all of things that make them perfect and IMPERFECT. Love is seeing someone every single morning and every single night and that still doesn’t seem like enough.

 

I hate Valentine’s Day. I do. But I fucking love, love. Sounds like an oxymoron right? Maybe I just didn’t get that girly V-Day gene. It’s cool. I will continue to hate it, but I will pretend. I will continue to warn my husband not to get me anything and he will most likely continue to by me things. I will continue to urge him that I don’t enjoy forced present, rather he should just continue to be him and love me the most natural way he can. I adore love. I am so lucky to have found this love. There isn’t a card, or bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates that could ever embrace the love we have for each other. I mean, the one year the queso and High Life was nice, because they are my two favorite things, but, and I can’t believe I am about to say this….I do love Matt more than those two things. So go on Valentine’s fan and buy all the candy, balloons and red crap you can find. I just hope your Valentine appreciates you more than it.

Judgement

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Recently I have been questioning a lot about how much we should get involved in other people’s business. And I am not talking about being nosy. I am talking about hearing someone’s choice and then taking it upon ourselves to judge them about it.

I have realized that the older I get the more I am judged. As my age bracket changes (gross,) people feel the need to have more to say about my lifestyle and choices. Which is so odd to me, because shouldn’t it be the opposite? Shouldn’t my choices when I was young and dumb be questioned more than now? When I am much older, a tad bit wiser, but a shit load more experienced?  It doesn’t make sense. When did it become so normal and okay to sit around and judge people and their decisions? When did talking shit become so normal that no one even questions when they are doing it? When did we all become so educated and so fucking worldly that we have the right to tell someone their choice is wrong??

Now look, there are some wrong choices. If you are straight up harming someone, cheating on someone, killing someone or being cruel to a child, an animal or the elderly, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT and you deserve to be judged. You do…sorry. But nowadays everyone is judged for just living life. We are being criticized by friends, family and people who don’t even know us for EVERYTHING. What school your kid is being enrolled in. What neighborhood you decide to live in. What kind of job you do or don’t take. If you decide you don’t want kids, or if you decide you want more kids. What kind of clothes you wear, what kind car you drive. God forbid you are a mom, and you bottle feed! And even worse if you are a parent who believes in scolding!! It is like we cannot make a choice for ourselves without someone out there saying something about it being in the wrong. And even if someone doesn’t speak out, the look of judgement is loud and clear. We have all seen that look and that shit is the worst.

I know I make daily choices that people do not agree with. How Matt and I raise our kids is pretty different from a lot of parents out there. There is a lot of yelling, lots of rules, lots of freedoms and LOTS OF FORMULA! But ya know what, our kids are so normal and so adaptable and overall super fucking cool. I know that when I decided to get a part-time job to get away from them and get some adultness in my weekly life, I was judged. People did not agree with my choice and thought it wasn’t a good idea. When I decided to go back to school, there was judgement. Yes, it required pushing our wedding back. Yes, it was more money and time spent away from the family. But why did anyone care? It was my choice and effected no one but my little family. I have even gotten backlash from starting this blog. But that is crazy to me. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. My thoughts have always been this, I am the least  judgmental human being on the planet, so just give it back to me. If I start hurting animals and old people, get on my case, otherwise, it’s cool. I promise.

I just don’t understand when we became such an openly opinionated group of people. Aren’t we taught acceptance in kindergarten? Isn’t being different good? Aren’t we supposed to be supportive of our differences? When did stating your opinion about not liking something someone else is doing, even though it affects you in no way shape or form become the norm?

It just really bugs me. I want my kids to grow up in a place where they can be openly accepted for who they are and what they decide to do with their lives. I don’t want them have to walk on egg shells in fear that someone will give them that judgmental look. I want them to truly believe they have support from people because their choices really only affect them and no one else.

I just hate what we have become. If someone is doing something you don’t agree with, why the fuck care. Let them do their thing. Let them learn from their mistakes. Let them grow and help nurture that growth. We all need to do this. It should be our job to leave our judgement the door and like we learned in Pre School, IF YOU DON’T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T FUCKING SAY IT! (Well maybe we didn’t the F-bomb that early.)

I just think it is time for everyone to just chill the fuck out. Life is hard, and things are really shitty sometimes. You never know what someone is going through. And while you are sitting there judging them, they are just trying to get through it. Or maybe they are just like me. Super happy, not afraid of something new, and just weird. It doesn’t make me a bad person. None of my choices do. So everyone just relax. Do you and the next time you find yourself judging, punch yourself in the face.

P!nk and David Beckham

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P!nk

Carey, you are one seriously lucky man!!!  This woman is a wife, mother and absolutely fucking delicious. Maybe it’s her pink hair or her animal rights activism or just that she has that I don’t give a shit attitude, whatever it is or whatever persona of her you have conjured up in your head, here is a few more reasons to make Pink your masturbation Monday’s object of affection.

David Beckham

When they say, bend it like Beckham, I really hope it means he is going to bend me over his knee and spank me because that man is worth an arm cramp to rub one out. This man makes every fucking hairstyle, every fashion statement and every inch of tattooed skin look fucking godly. His ass belongs in the Louvre plated in gold. If this guy doesn’t do it for you then you must have one hidden in a closet for as long as R Kelly because I have never seen him.

The Super Bowl

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Thank You Super Bowl for giving me another reason to gorge myself with an endless amount of cheese dip.
I never, ever, ever feel bad eating that many snacks on Super Bowl Sunday. It is a national pastime I will forever treasure.

The Super Bowl

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I just don’t get it. Why the hell do football players, coaches and all that is involved with a GAME (besides cheerleaders) get paid so much fucking money? I mean all they do is play a game!!!!!!
I get that it is hard, and demanding and you can get seriously injured, but for real. THAT MUCH MONEY???? While there are teachers, nurses, non profit workers out there changing the world and struggling to pay rent.
I like watching football. It is fun and interactive, I just can never get past the stupid money they make for NOT MAKING A DIFFERENCE! Now I know there are some players who do great things with their money, but yeah, they fucking should! You are playing a game and you do not deserve that much cash. Players get an extra $97,000 bonus for winning the Super Bowl and $49,000 for losing. To them, that is shit. To the normal everyday Joe, that is a years worth of work if not 2 and sometimes even 3 years!!!! It is crazy. What they get for a bonus a teacher gets in 2 years of educating the future of America. THAT SHIT IS WRONG!!!!
So F-U Super Bowl and all your money thrown at gorilla men who can throw a ball really well.