23 Realistic Maternity Photos From A Shitty Housewife…

Is your biological clock ticking? Are your ovaries on fire? Well they are about to jump out into oncoming traffic. This is what a pregnant woman of a toddler is REALLY thinking during pregnancy…

1.He lied…

honestmaternityshoot-1-of-24

2. Best be glad I haven’t stabbed you in your sleep yet…

honestmaternityshoot-2-of-24

3. Don’t look at me while I devour this. Just throw food at me and call me pretty…

honestmaternityshoot-3-of-24

4. He is drinking for 2 and makes you want a shot even more…

honestmaternityshoot-4-of-24

5. Dreaming of the day you can enjoy the soothing burn of tequila once more… 

honestmaternityshoot-6-of-24

6. The first meeting of new siblings… 

honestmaternityshoot-7-of-24

7. This is going well…

honestmaternityshoot-8-of-24

8. #FirstKidProblems

honestmaternityshoot-9-of-24

9. I’m in charge of ALL of them? Can’t we just take a nap? Shit, am I missing one?

honestmaternityshoot-10-of-24

10. This is great. What the fuck was I thinking? At least I found the other kid. 

honestmaternityshoot-11-of-24

11. This bitch over here better get her kids and her lips off my tequila!

honestmaternityshoot-12-of-24

12. Nap time. Mommy can’t stand up anymore…

honestmaternityshoot-13-of-24

13. Well that’s real fuckin sweet…

honestmaternityshoot-14-of-24

14. All I wanted was a hug! Maybe a kiss!

honestmaternityshoot-15-of-24

15. Does this kid make my belly look fat? 

honestmaternityshoot-16-of-24

16. For all the times he complains about getting no credit. Then the kid pops out looking like his twin…

honestmaternityshoot-17-of-24

17. Are you making fun of my weight? Not the best idea, bucky… It’s your turn to push!

honestmaternityshoot-18-of-24

18. Let me tell you ’bout my best friend…

honestmaternityshoot-19-of-24

19. Just a sip? This swing doesn’t go any damn higher, child!

honestmaternityshoot-20-of-24

20. There are many moments of weakness…

honestmaternityshoot-21-of-24

21. And many meltdowns… From you AND the toddler…

honestmaternityshoot-22-of-24

22. But you aren’t the only one who now has to suffer! He’s stuck with your crazy ass…

honestmaternityshoot-1-of-3

23. Ok maybe you are…

honestmaternityshoot-2-of-3

24. Just remind him often, YOU DID THIS TO ME!!

honestmaternityshoot-3-of-3

 

XOXO

The Shitty Housewives and kids

Adding another to the chaos March 2017

Thank you to Steph Kitchens for the photography. To book her services, go here.

honestmaternityshoot-24-of-24

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s