23 Realistic Maternity Photos From A Shitty Housewife…

Is your biological clock ticking? Are your ovaries on fire? Well they are about to jump out into oncoming traffic. This is what a pregnant woman of a toddler is REALLY thinking during pregnancy…

1.He lied…

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2. Best be glad I haven’t stabbed you in your sleep yet…

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3. Don’t look at me while I devour this. Just throw food at me and call me pretty…

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4. He is drinking for 2 and makes you want a shot even more…

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5. Dreaming of the day you can enjoy the soothing burn of tequila once more… 

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6. The first meeting of new siblings… 

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7. This is going well…

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8. #FirstKidProblems

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9. I’m in charge of ALL of them? Can’t we just take a nap? Shit, am I missing one?

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10. This is great. What the fuck was I thinking? At least I found the other kid. 

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11. This bitch over here better get her kids and her lips off my tequila!

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12. Nap time. Mommy can’t stand up anymore…

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13. Well that’s real fuckin sweet…

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14. All I wanted was a hug! Maybe a kiss!

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15. Does this kid make my belly look fat? 

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16. For all the times he complains about getting no credit. Then the kid pops out looking like his twin…

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17. Are you making fun of my weight? Not the best idea, bucky… It’s your turn to push!

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18. Let me tell you ’bout my best friend…

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19. Just a sip? This swing doesn’t go any damn higher, child!

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20. There are many moments of weakness…

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21. And many meltdowns… From you AND the toddler…

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22. But you aren’t the only one who now has to suffer! He’s stuck with your crazy ass…

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23. Ok maybe you are…

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24. Just remind him often, YOU DID THIS TO ME!!

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XOXO

The Shitty Housewives and kids

Adding another to the chaos March 2017

Thank you to Steph Kitchens for the photography. To book her services, go here.

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