Dude, I am spent. And it is only Tuesday……Days like today are hard, especially when you feel kinda defeated, run down and, welp just old.
It has been a whirlwind of a few days, which I know is normal in my family, but this weekend kicked my ass (and is continuing!)
In the middle of taking an exam on Friday afternoon, my sweet pug ran up to me, opened his mouth and exposed a gigantic, gross looking, exposed, tumor like thing. I quickly finished and rushed him to the vet. After finding out he needs surgery to remove it, I rushed home because we had scheduled a family photoshoot, which was great, but intense getting everyone dressed up and ready. Fast forward a few hours, all three kids wake me up different times during the night complaining they didn’t feel well. I barely slept. They needed me, they come before sleep. My alarm went off at 6:15 so I could head to work.
I come home from work on Saturday and these guys are a mess. Mainy, the older two. Just snotty, coughing, red eyes, overall disaters. I spent the whole rest of the day being bossed around by angry, sick, little humans. In between their blahness, I snuck in some much needed homework and tried to regain my sanity.
Sunday was more of the same, but now the baby was feeing it. We attempted to leave the house a few times, but they were all just too sick. I was about an hour away from dropping the ball on a group assignment for school, thank god I caught the date last minute, otherwise, my ass would have been screwed in class. I had to rush through it and get that turned in, on top of everything else (most of my work is always due Sunday by midnight.)
They all three woke me up again, several times throughout the night. I slept on floors, beds, couches, pretty much anywhere where I could snuggle them and make them feel better.
Monday required a doctor visit. All three have pink eyes and colds. The baby has a double ear infection. The pedictrician called in some meds which I tried to grocery shop while we waited, but I had a screaming, exhausted baby and two sick, but overly hyper from couped up for days toddlers. At one point said to me (I must have looked THAT tired and THAT overwhelmed) “Mommy, you are doing a great job.” Which was so sweet. He then proceeded to scratch his sisters face and scream “BUTT IN YOUR FACE.” So that sweetness faded fast.
Finally got the prescription, got everyone home. Battled with giving eye drops and amoxicillian. Then I did what so many of parents do when times get tough. I handed Viv the remote, let her find YouTube and proceeded to let them zone out to creepy surprise egg videos. I NEEDED A MINUTE.
But I actually didn’t get one because I had school work. Matt had to work a double yesterday and although I know he had a rough day too, I know mine was tougher. I am thankful though that I was the one home all day with them though. Because when they are sick and exhausting, they want their mommy and only mommy. They want my snuggles, my voice and my arms surrounding them. And no matter how exhausted I am, I will do this and let them NOT want Daddy as much as they need.
Once Matt came home, I was able to get the baby more meds and to sleep. While I was doing that Kellen passed out on the couch. I put Viv in her bed and she asked me to lay with her for a bit. Once they were all asleep, I finished one last assignment and crawled to bed.
Cam woke me up at 4:15 this morning. I got him back to bed after a dose of Motrin. My alarm goes off at 5 am every morning during the week so I can get school work done before my day starts, so I just stayed awake. I have a double myself today, with a one hour break to take an exam.
Oh shit……that is the kinda week I am having. It is only Tuesday. I feel defeated, I feel run down and I feel old. But they are feeling better. They all slept more and coughed less last night than they have in the past 4 nights….well everyone except me, beause now I am feeling sick.
Mommying is not for the weak. Being an adult student is tough stuff. Not giving yourself much because you are giving it to so many other people and things is rough. Combining all of those is just stupid. But it is where I am in life. And surprisingly I am not as mentally spent as I assumed I would be. I somehow managed to right this and venting here has already made me feel better…..(that could be the gigantic coffee and Dayquil I popped also!) We will survive this. They will all sleep through thte night again, and maybe I wil too. Until then, I will keep rat racing it out. And continue to mutter Oh Shit to myself every 30 minutes.