Top 10 Ways to Throw a Successful Toddler Event


10. PiÑata
Seriously, when things start to go south and party time turns into meltdown time… give the kids a stick and a donkey full of candy. PARTY IS ON.

9. Pinterest-FAIL
Yep… try. I bet you fail, too. And not because you suck, but because Pinterest sucks.

8. Water everything.
Tables, pools, guns, balloons. Kids love that shit.

7. Cake, cupcakes, cookies, TREATS! TREATS! TREATS!
You don’t have to deal with the car ride home. Sugar your friends kids up… do it.

6. Meat.
Parents love a good, slow cooked eat they don’t have to deal with.

5. Wine.
Of course.

4. Beer.
It is a long night with lots of kids.

3. Bourbon.
Your kids are hopped on sugar, why not?

2. Tequila.
YOU HAVE KIDS… that shit is no joke. And they have been partying for 3 hours.

1. Uber…
You are drunk, and you can put a car seat in an uber.

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