My first son turns 3 in two days. 2 more sleeps as he says. Birthdays with youngsters are always so sweet and so heartbreaking. Even if you aren’t a sentimental, sappy mom…..seeing their age move ahead brings a little bit of sadness with it. But, yep, Kellen turns 3.
If you know me, you know I talk a lot of shit about Kell. He is my tough kid. Since the day he was born he has made life a roller coaster. His labor was HORRIBLE. He spent 8 days in the NICU before we could take him home. From then on, he has just been tough. A human I completely adore….but tough. He has made me question my parenting skills. He has made me question my beauty. He has made me question my strength. And he constantly makes me question my own sanity. He is strong willed, incredibly smart, very emotional and tough. On top of that he is the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen and his handsomeness just increases as his age does.
He will be a heartbreaker. He will be a heartthrob. He already is. When I am anywhere with my kids I am constantly stopped and told how cute they are. Then, every time, without fail, they pinpoint Kellen and tell me how attractive he is. Grown women flirt with him. Girls on the playground stop and stare. His looks are simply amazing…..and he doesn’t even notice.
Raising someone that will one day be man is scary as shit. As a parent, you know there are all these things you want them to accomplish. Education, career, success. But as a mom….HIS mom, all I want is happiness, health, kindness, honesty, loyalty and love. I know being a girl is hard. But becoming a man, a honest man, is just so rare these days, its got to be so tough, right??? I mean, I know some bad guys out there and I wonder what their mom must think. Is she questioning all of her moves in his childhood, like did I create that? How do you take this sweet, whiny, adorable little boy and help him mold himself into a hard working, respectful grown man? How do you teach him how to love unconditionally? How do you teach him to have loyalty to his family no matter what? How do you tell him that sports aren’t the end all be all if you don’t want them to be? How do you teach him not to be a dick to girls?? How do you let them go and brave this cruel, battlefield we call the real world alone?
I guess I have some time to figure it all out. I mean, he is only 3. Well almost. I still have 2 more sleeps with my 2 year old tucked into his Ninja Turtle bed. And I will cherish the next 48 hours with that little tough guy unconditionally.