So last week I posted 37 random, kinda unknown facts about myself. It received a lot of feedback. I got lots of texts, emails, Facebook messages, etc. asking questions about certain things I wrote. The number one question I received was, “Who was the famous guy you dated?” But that, my friends, is for another day. The second most popular question really surprised me, which is what I wanted to talk about today. I told the world the absolute truth and I don’t think people believe me…….
MATT AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE THE OTHER ONE HAS SLEPT WITH BEFORE MEETING!!! I promise you all, we never had “the number” talk. Ever. We talked about NOT talking about it once and that was that. We both were and are still in complete agreeance….that number means nothing. It does not affect our thoughts about each other. It does not affect our feelings towards each other and it does not change anything about our relationship. It is a number that happened long (ok, well maybe not that long) before we even knew each other. So why is it important to know? We both know that we each have had some fun. Some relationships. Some one night stands. Some people whose names we can’t remember. We both know that the other one is not a prude. We both know that sex is and has played an important role in our lives. We both openly tell stories of our past. We both assume our numbers are probably close to each other….probably. We aren’t stupid, we can kinda guess the number isn’t in the single digits…..but that is all we got. We have not discussed it any further.
I don’t really want to discuss it any further. My past is MY past and I like to keep it all to myself. I had fun and I experimented and I made good and bad decisions. What I did between the sheets before Matt ever existed in my life should not have one ounce of an effect on his feelings about me. I am actually proud of my past, some might not agree with it, but I kinda love it.
I hear stories all the time about people dating, then this ‘numbers’ conversation is brought up and a fight is started. Why?? You did not know each other!!! It doesn’t freaking matter. Why on earth would I care about anyone that Matt has slept with before he knew I was even alive????? It is not logical. And god forbid you do have this conversation and you’ve slept with like 175 people and the other person has slept with 2. Then you are going to feel like a real asshole and your person is going to feel like a big prude. And neither of you should feel like that at all. Your past is just that….YOUR PAST. It should not haunt your future, especially when it comes to sex.
Look, of course we wonder. Every now and again I do wonder what my husband’s number is. I am sure he has wondered mine. But the truth is, as many people as he has screwed, he only screwed one into being his wife….wait that sounds bad, but you know what I mean. He only has chosen to be in a relationship with me. So whether is number is 5 or 1000, I am his only 1 and that shit is all that matters.