O’Shit: Birthday Edition

  1. I drove across the country (from San Diego to Atlanta) ALONE
  2. I managed to get my associates degree in one year
  3. I had all three of my children naturally (NO DRUGS)
  4. I dated a celebrity…….guess who?!
  5. I was once a seat filler at the MTV music awards
  6. I once had my hands on Jared Leto’s brothers phone number
  7. I got married on Halloween night
  8. I have raised over $40,000 in fundraising events I have thrown…for fun
  9. I once had 5 orgasms in one night
  10. I have never seen all the Star Wars movies
  11. A super-hot guy pretended to be gay just so I would hang out with him for one night in Vegas (I had a boyfriend at the time and said I couldn’t hang out with anyone straight over night)
  12. The best sex I have ever had in my entire life was on my wedding night
  13. I did not lose my virginity until I was 20
  14. I kissed a girl and I liked it
  15. I once squeezed limes for margaritas and ended up in the hospital with phytophotodermatitis. (Look it up..that shit is real)
  16. I never went to prom
  17. I loved Debbie Gibson so much, I sent her a letter every day for two months. Then after nothing happened, I sent her a dollar to write me back…that bitch never did.
  18. I still cry over my dog that passed away over 8 months ago, once a week
  19. I once was so drunk at a Dave Matthews concert I lost my shoes…..WTF
  20. I once ate a pot brownie and had such a freak out I locked myself in my bedroom for two days
  21. I have only taken one selfie in my entire life
  22. I was a hairstylist for 10 years
  23. I adopted a dog from the pound 7 months ago, and I still don’t really like her (I know, that sounds horrible, but it is the truth. She gets treated like gold, I promise!)
  24. My husband and I have never had the…”How many people have you slept with” discussion. (Yes I do wonder, but I wasn’t in his life when he was whoring around, so what’s the point of knowing?!)
  25. I was once caught making out in a Vegas bathroom with a boy and was then escorted back to my room by two security guards
  26. I had my own business once, ran it successfully for 5 years
  27. I have only been ice skating once and I sprained my ankle and split my lip while doing it
  28. I spent the night at Ralphie May’s house once…he was not there
  29. I once took a bong rip and fainted
  30. My dream job is to be a Halloween Costume Designer
  31. I had a crush on my husband for 4 months before he asked me out
  32. I once was a trapeze artist
  33. I once took E at Disney World
  34. I once jumped on stage at a strip club and started dancing on the pole and was quickly escorted off by security. Then a few minutes later I went back up…
  35. I once moved to Chattanooga TN for 8 weeks
  36. I used to make and sell homemade dog treats
  37. Birth control doesn’t work on me

2 thoughts on “O’Shit: Birthday Edition

  1. Wenonah says:

    Your awesome Jan! What’s the answer to number four? And five orgasms in one night…f**k 😳😀 I wouldn’t move for hours. 😴😂😊😏

    Like

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