I definitely don’t try and make this a blog dedicated to only moms. Of course, you see the name Housewife and maybe that is what you assume….another mommy blog. But it is not. I try to vocalize way more from a wife/female/human standpoint, than just a mom point of view. But I am a mom. A hardcore one at that (not hardcore like hovering and shit, hardcore like I have a lot of kids.) So today I thought I would write a bit about having kids. A handful of kids…..all very young…..and very incapable of doing things for themselves. I HAVE THREE TODDLERS.
So what is it like living in a house with 3 small kids?????
LOUD- For real. Whether it is screaming, crying, whining, laughing, more crying, there is always noise. Someone is always making some sort of sound. When you cross over the normal 2 kids ratio silence is officially out the window.
STICKY- Gross, I know. But everything is always so freaking sticky in this house. We try to keep up with everyone’s hygiene and of course wash and bathe them constantly, but somehow, someone is always crusted over, leaving a path of sticky grossness to follow.
EXHAUSTING-When there are 3 toddlers in your life sleep is out the window. We do our damndest to get them all to bed at the same time, but that never worls. SOmeone passes out early, then when the next two go to sleep that passed out one wakes up. One falls asleep, then the other one crawls into their bed and wakes them up. One starts crying because of a bad dream and they all wake up scared. And when they do finally all fall asleep and are quiet for more than an hour, you wake up scared to death that something is wrong because you hear nothing but silence (and sience never happens with 3 kids…..)
SEX-LESS- Not one word here people, Matt and I are very healthy in the sex department. But now with 3 kids who are up and mobile and able to open doors and hear things….adult time is is hard to find. We do our best, but I swear there is always a kid right by our side making it harder and harder (PUN INTENDED) to have sex.
WORRISOME-I worry about everything, naturally. But I have this image in my head of someday having a freshman, junior and senior…two if them boys and one getting her period. DEAR GOD!!!!!!! I may not survive.
EXPENSIVE- For the first couple years the baby gets the shaft. You can still get 2 ice creams. 2 toys. 2 stuffed stockings. But once that third is aware of what is going on….shit gets real. Ask for a raise now…you will need it. I have spent lord knows how much on diapers alone and now that Cameron is normal human, he wants everything his brother and sister wants. And the older they get, the more expensive it is getting. Yeah, now it’s toys, games, Dollar Store shit. But soon it’ll be bikes, braces, cars, tuition…fuck I need to get 5 jobs right now.
So yeah, it is intense having 3 small kids. All needy, hungry, thirsty, bored, cranky and STICKY all the time. But you know what else….they are fucking amazing. Every day I get three hugs, three kisses, three ‘I love you’s’, three hearts that make mine swell like I never thought possible. Three little faces that remind me of the love Matt and I have each other. And even though they were all a surprise, all so very scary and all very unplanned, they are ours and I am honored I have three kids I get to help grow into awesome humans. And as sleep deprived, phone call deprived, time deprived I may be, I am the luckiest Shitty Housewife on this sticky planet because of them.
The Shitty Housewife