38 Things Your Realize By The TimeYou Turn 38….My Annual Birthday List

  1. Life is so fast
  2. Life is so long
  3. You will never wake up and feel completely accomplished (set goals people)
  4. Your body truly does get worn down as you age
  5. Being tired is never an excuse anymore (because you are always freaking tired)
  6. Having different opinions from people you love is a GOOD thing
  7. Politics are very important
  8. High School seems like 5 years ago
  9. You don’t need to shave your legs all that much
  10. Sex is sexier
  11. Hangovers last 4 days
  12. 90210 will always be better than any show to ever come out in your lifetime
  13. Boy Bands will always make you dance
  14. Sex is so much more quality than quantity
  15. Kissing will always make you giddy
  16. Wrinkles happen…..just accept it (especially for those of us who can’t afford $500 wrinkle cream or plastic surgery) AGING HAPPENS, IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS
  17. Feeling embarassed so silly
  18. The idea of “When I am that age….” goes out the fucking window. Shit will happen when it is suppose to happen
  19. You will never have enough money
  20. You will never use long division
  21. Being a student at this age BLOWS
  22. You now know who your one and only true friends are (and they are the fucking shit)
  23. Cheese Dip will be the best tasting thing always and forever
  24. Losing weight gets harder and harder and harder every damn year
  25. Your sexual history is nothing to be ashamed of. Be proud of your past, think of all the awesome stories you have!
  26. Justin Timberlake will always be the sexiest man….ever
  27. You stop thinking, ‘What’s going to happen next?’ and start thinking “What is happening right now?’
  28. It is officially confirmed at this age that laughter is the best medicine
  29. Dancing is the best feeling (besides an orgasm)
  30. There is so much uncalled for hate in the world that you can’t fix
  31. Animals are so much smarter than us humans
  32. Going to bed is more exciting than going out
  33. All that talk about eating right, drinking water and working out was right….you should do all those things much more
  34. Having your coffee programmed to brew before you wake up is vital for a successful morning
  35. You will never believe you are actually as old as you are
  36. Hands jobs are the greatest
  37. Mascara can not be black enough
  38. Life is a hell of a good time, so enjoy it at all ages and make the most memories you can.

Well, Happy Birthday to me. I can not believe I am 38. It sounds insane coming out of my mouth. And as scared as I am to turn this age, I will welcome it (I mean, I have no other options.) I am lucky to have had 38 years to make the most of this amazing life journey….fingers crossed I get 38 more! Cheers!


The Shitty Housewife



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