Tom Welling and Mischa Barton

This week we have been tapping into our inner past selves and thinking about the days of the past. For me, my early 20’s would not have been the same without the good ole CW and it’s fantastically awful, yet awesome shows. So keeping that train of thought, I figured well, who were the hottest blast from the semi past ever…..Tom Welling and Mischa Barton! Welcome to Masturbation Monday, CW style.

Who didn’t love Mischa Barton when the O.C. came on?? She was beautiful and bitchy and nailed the whole Orange County teen thing perfectly. All girls wanted to be her and all boys wanted to bone her. And I probably wanted to do both! She always had the perfect clothes, perfect hair and perfect sun kissed tan while she was doing her high school thing. Although she had a crazy, weird death scene quick into the show, it was still great and she was still smoking!

Smallville. Superman. Teenage Clark Kent. TOM WELLING. Can you say lady boner even as I type this years after the show ended. WHAT A DREAMBOAT!!! In fact, Tom was on my Top 5 for many, many years. He is fucking beautiful and that body…..girl stop. I love the whole Superman thing and have watched almost every movie ever made about him. But this show was my obsession. Not only was it based around an awesome character, but Tom was SO good as a young version and even better to look at. The only probelm was there was never a hot sex scene…….Recently, I realized you can Netflix and run around screaming at your children while watching Smallville. And one weekend, when my husband is away, I plan to do so….with my vibrator.

So enjoy your Monday and take some time to reminisce about the CW and all its glory. Remember their teen angst and turn in into your Monday yanking the crank. (I am for real, that is a thing. I just looked up slang terms for masturbating…….)


The Shitty Housewife


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