So a few weeks ago Matt went on vacation. His brother lives in Seattle and after several visits here, Matt thought it was finally his turn to go there. We talked about it many times. As to when would be a good time, how many days, what my schedule with work/school/kids would look like. Like it was talked about for a long, hot minute.
Well, the trip has come and gone…..but my attitude about it has not. I can not stop being a jealous bitch about the whole damn thing. I mean…I know it sounds horrible, but like damn. You went on vacation. You relaxed. You partied. You rested. You played. I worked and got my ass kicked at every fucking angle and I am not ready to forgive you for it.
But the reality is….I have no reason “to forgive.” He asked me if it was okay. He was going for 4 days, I told him to make it 6. He even invited me for the weekend, but I delayed getting a ticket and then it was too expensive. He offered to pay and I declined. So yeah, I know….I have no reason “to forgive” him.
I don’t know why I am so bitter. I guess it is pure jealousy. But I just feel weird. Like maybe he shouldn’t have gone? Or maybe he should have called me more?? Or maybe I wanted more praise for what a kick ass wife I am??? Maybe I just wanted something. And I did have a fine time while he was away. I was even able to go out for a quick girls night out, so it wasn’t like a total bust. But for some reason, I just can’t stop being a bitch about it. For example, he came home with his duffel bag full of clean clothes. He did all of his laundry at his brothers so when he arrived, the only thing to add to our never ending laundry was what he was wearing. Well one of my unspoken chores in this house is putting away the laundry. He takes care of the yard and a million other things and I put away laundry. Well not this shit. This was his vacation laundry and that vacation annoyed me, so you can put that shit away yourself. And yesterday, I finally told him that. He said didn’t understand the difference between laundry sitting on top of the dryer and in his duffel, and why I would put away one and not the other, but understanding is not my problem. I threw that bag on top of the bed and he got to work.
I know I need to stop. Stop with the dirty looks every time he brings up Seattle. Fucking Seattle. Gross ( I actually love it there.) But if I was going to be the ultimate bitch, I should have just said don’t go, right?? But then I would be a cranky, needy, doesn’t let her man do anything wife and I am not that girl. I guess it is better to be the, sure, go on and have fun while I stay home and whine and then be a bitch when you get home wife. Either way we are all screwed right?!
I will get over it. I have a bit already. Now that the vacation clothes aren’t staring me in the face…….Next time I will tell him to go. That I am cool with it. But I will be a bitch for awhile afterwards. Nature of the beast right. The beast called, The Shitty Housewife.