So being a wife means dealing with another human being forever. And not in a “you are my kid, so I HAVE to deal.” But a “you are my husband, so I CHOSE to deal.” No one forces you to get married. Sadly, sometimes ultimatums are givens and people say they felt forced, but they are stupid and should have stood up for themselves. No one FORCES marriage on you. And if they start to…leave them now. You will be unhappy and end up divorced. Anyway, when Matt and I decided to take our relationship to the legally committed stage, I committed to him fully. For all of the great and all of the not so great. And in every relationship there are a lot of both. Let’s face it. No one is perfect, except for Justin Timberlake. So when we get married, we marry someone’s perfections and imperfections.
I think Matt is perfect……for me. Although his imperfections make him even better. Sure there are plenty of things he does that make me crazy. When he gets out of the shower, without fail, it looks like he had a fight with the water. And the water wins, every time. He always says he isn’t fussy about what he wants to eat, but like, he is the fussiest. When he deep cleans the house, he throws man tantrums. And I know I have my things that make him nuts. I am a mess. Like I don’t know how to deep clean. I let the kids eat in the car, no matter how many times he says they shouldn’t. I forget….EVERYTHING. But even though he hates those things, he still loves me.
Matt will tell anyone exactly how he feels, no filter ever, and not feel the least bit bad about it. People think he can be brass or rude, but to him, he is honest and real and I LOVE that about him. People think I take on too much and try to accomplish to many things and get worried about me. He LOVES that I am that way. We loves those qualities about ourselves and did not want to change them to be in a perfect relationship, so we accepted them and now adore these things.
No one will change. Whatever imperfections bug you now about someone will only bug you worse as the years pass. Your tolerance for that THING won’t get better. Matt’s shower/water fiasco that happens on a daily basis will just piss me off more and more as we age. But I know that. Before we married I accepted all the imperfections of this man and devoted myself to dealing with them in the most pleasant way possible (an eye roll, maybe a middle finger behind his back….)
No marriage is perfect. But you don’t stop because of imperfections. The perfect marriage is two people who are imperfect and refuse to give up on each other. Matt and I have the most perfect marriage for us. It is full of love, laughter, loyalty and an endless amount of imperfections.