Fuck you birthday

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Slam…..Birthdays…What age did they lose their fun? They used to be the highlight of my year. And ever since I turned…well, I am not exactly sure when, I just fucking hate them.

I don’t want presents, I don’t want doting, I don’t want to recognize that another year has passed by. And it is not because I am older. I can handle the wrinkles, the sagging, the lack of firmness in certain areas that used to be so tight. It’s the idea that yet another year has passed by and I still don’t feel like I have done enough. 365 from the last age change and I am still in the same place. Yes, I am married and have kids, but there are things lacking. I am no where close to where I thought I would be career wise and money wise at age 37 (jesus….30 fucking 7. I can’t)  I just always thought I would be more helpful in the financial department of my marriage. That I would be more career focused and able to provide more. But I am a full time student, a part time everything, a mom and, lets face it…a shitty housewife, so providing those Benjamin ain’t happening.

 Birthday’s have just become so blah. Such a reminder that I am getting older and still not where I want to be. And maybe I never will be. Maybe this want for more is just drive. And I normally don’t mind it. But every year on March 14th….I haunts me.
I know I am grinch, but fuck that feeling. Being an adult is tough shit. A birthday is a reminder that you actually are an adult. Just shitty. So F-U birthdays. Your lameness wins…every damn year.

One thought on “Fuck you birthday

  1. Karen says:

    It means another day to be alive and Grateful to have a loving family.that makes you happy .!!! Be happy about you Birthday Jan!!! I am.xo love Mom

    Like

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