Date Night Expectations

Couple lying on kitchen floor

The other night I was babysitting for my friend so she and her man could have a full on date night. Go out, do something without the kid, then go to bed and wake up just the two of them.

As she dropped her child off, she mentioned that she always gets stressed out on date night because there is that expectation of sex and she is tired. Of course I sympathized with her, but I didn’t really get it.

Maybe because with three kids, date night is pretty nonexistent. No one wants all three of ours to spend the night. And mainly because when we do have date night…FUCK YES, sex is expected. That is our one night to get drunk, get alone, get loud and get weird. Call me crazy, but after the days in and days out of work, school, schedules, whining, mundane boring life, when I have time alone with my partner it is our time to forget all of that and feel good, in every which way possible.

I expect Matt to man up and turn that shit on when we have some alone time. And not just because I am always frisky when he is around, but because that is what separates the relationship we have with each other to the relationships we have with others. We don’t have sex with anyone else. It is a way we connect with each other on an extremely intimate level. A level we only experience as a couple. I don’t get naked, talk dirty, dress up, and get weird with any other human. So yes, when we have alone time, I expect him and me to push through our tiredness and make it happen. And it doesn’t matter how long it has been. Keeping count of the amount of time, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months and repeating your concern about that number to your partner will only put added pressure and awkwardness on it.

Sex, and all that goes along with it, can be hard (no pun intended) especially after being with someone for an extended period of time. In the beginning it is always fun and always all the time. That wears off. And it is natural and normal. Matt and I have had many highs and lows. And after 5 years we have let all that weirdness and all those expectations go. The only thing we expect from each other is that when we have the chance and the opportunity (please keep in mind we have three kids, 3 and under) we fucking take it. Whether it is 2 days or 2 weeks. We pounce on each other and enjoy the hell out of our time together. Not thinking about how much time it has been. Not thinking about when it will happen again. Not thinking about how tired we are. All I am thinking about is him and all he is thinking about is me.

So suck it up (pun intended) and enjoy the shit out of it. Because there is someone out there wishing more than anything in the world they had a date night where someone was supposed to sleep with them after. Cherish the alone time you have with your partner. Cherish the fact that someone out there has committed to you and your body. Cherish the whole idea of (I fucking hate this saying) making love. Sex is the best thing ever and whether you have been with someone for 5 weeks or 5 years, screw the crap out of them as often as you can.

Let your guard down. They are your person. Your lobster. You both deserve it!

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