Happy Valentines Day to everyone. As stated in a blog earlier this week, this is my very least favorite holiday. I love love, but I hate V day. My idea of the perfect Valentine’s Day is forgetting the entire holiday exists. When I asked my husband what his idea of the perfect V day would be his response was “I thought we couldn’t speak of it anymore because you hate it so much?” (I know….I am so romantic.)
So I decided to get some V Day inspiration. I reached out to a few couples that I just love and asked them what their idea of the perfect Valentine’s’ Day looks like. These pairs of people scream “LOVE.” They come from all different walks of life, different relationship situations and different stages in their relationships. But they all have one thing in common. THEY ARE ALL DEEPLY IN LOVE. And nothing is more beautiful than that.
First I asked my male point of view for The Shitty Housewife Blog, Rye Guy and his long term GF/fiance (long term like 12 years.) They have two daughters, a 16 year old and 6 year old. They both had very similar ideas of the perfect day. They both thought a nice dinner, just the two of them, great wine, conversation and flirting would go a long way. She said letting him plan the whole thing from making reservations, picking times, finding baby sitters all was a big turn on. But after a few cocktails, she would take over and asked him to take her to Clermont Lounge. “Because hey, who doesn’t love watching strippers smash paps blue ribbon with her boobs, I’m sure it made me a lot hotter.” (SHE IS THE BEST.) But what they both wanted in the end was to just spend time with each other and celebrate their love for one another.
My next victim was my girl Nicole. She is the behind the scenes girl here at The Shitty Housewife and is starting to write for us as well (YAY!!!) Her and her boyfriend have been together for awhile. They have a year old little girl and for a young couple, you can see a very strong, developed bond. Nicole’s idea of the perfect Valentine’s is simple. Just having him put a little thought into it and making the day about quality time, not about expensive present. “It can be my favorite food and movie on the couch in our pjs (or naked, depends) or it can be us going on a walk or hike to our favorite place or dinner somewhere we had never been or a simple note on the mirror.” She says keeping it simple and keeping it personal to them and their love is all she needs. Nick had some fun ideas for his idea of the Perfect Valentines day. In fact…I kinda wanted to be his date! (J/k girl..chill out.) He wants a babysitter so they can have some alone time. A good dinner and then he wants them to get tattoos. WHAT???!!! That is the best. Again, they both made it clear, just spending the day thinking about their love was all they really needed.
The next couple I asked was a girlfriend of mine who has been with her fiance for years. Lauren and Tyler. They dated, fell in love, moved in and a year ago he took her to Charleston, bought her the best fucking sauteed mushrooms that ever existed and asked her to be his wife. Now they agreed as a couple what their perfect V Day would be. And I can pretty much guarantee that they are making it happen. Lauren says “I appreciate and value our relationship on a daily basis, not on one particular commercialized holiday where people are forced to acknowledge each other.” Now Tyler is a chef (damn girl, you are SO lucky) and they use this day for him to show off his skills. And he does just that! He creates a menu, pairs it with wine, buys her flowers. But they are not the type to be bummed if the other doesn’t give a card or candy. And they cherish their love all the time, not just once a year. “I am very lucky to have a chef Fiance that not only cooks on the reg, but will brighten any random day with flowers and a sweet card just because. That’s love” And it is! And you know the old saying…a cook in the kitchen, a freak in the sheets!!! (No one has ever said that, except me. Right now.)
The last couple I bothered was Kate and Stacy. Now, I have only met Stacy once, but Kate and I share a lot of loves. Pitbulls, cheerleading and red carpets to name a few. And although I do not know them that well personally, I have always been in awe of the love I see between the two of them. You can see how honest and real it is, and that right there is all you need. Now I never got a direct quote from Stacy about her perfect day, but Kate had some awesome ideas. “Valentines Day…..*sigh*. Even single, I was always in love with it. I was never a, “Hallmark card holiday” bitch and moaner. It was love, pink, candy, red, hearts, chocolate and all things love, love, love…” (Isn’t she the cutest fucking love bird ever!!!) But wait it gets better. I would love to summarize what she said to me about their relationship, but it just won’t do this justice. “To simply tell her I love her on this holiday every year isn’t enough, so I write her a letter every Valentines day. I write to thank her for holding my heart for 11 years and never once dropping it. I can’t write enough, or give enough or be grateful enough…. but she knows. She knows, because she knows my heart. I know this stuff sounds like bullshit cliché and I’m ok with that. I’ve waited 35 years for this kind of love and have no issue with putting it out there.” They enjoy buying each other gifts on this special day. I mean love it great but shoes are too! But they do these things all year golng, making sure love is always shown. And although Stacy likes gifts, she likes some housewife things accomplished too! “It’s gets her more horned out to have me open a drawer of freshly organized socks than to bring a stripper home for a straight up threesome.” (My husband would agree with Stacy, sadly he has a Shitty Housewife, so I would probably just get a stripper rather than clean.) But she sums up their love isn’t one day, it is everyday, “Of course we tell each other we love one another, but the word love is a tricky thing. I’ve loved a lot of things in my life that weren’t good for me. I’ve loved some people that I didn’t like. So, in part…it just doesn’t do it justice. Because in the end, I just don’t love her………….I adore her.” No words for these two….you are fucking perfect!
So after hearing all these love stories, I do have a different view on this old holiday. It isn’t about spending money and forcing gifts. It isn’t about feeling bad if you are alone. It is about being proud to celebrate the love you have waited for. When you finally get it, celebrate the shit out of it everyday. Especially this day. Spend time with your partner and don’t let the commercialization of it get to you. As cheesy as it is, love is so beautiful and deserves more than a day. So now if you excuse me, I need to go buy my husband candy, flowers, balloons, a new tool set and apparently a stripper (because, yeah, I love him, but I am not organizing his socks!)