I know I am going to get some flak for this post. But it’s something that I have strong opinions about and I kind of feel like, I paid for this blog, I can say what I want.
Push Presents. Who the fuck came up with this?
I had never even heard of this until a few years ago. So, basically, a push present is a gift given to a woman after she has given birth.
OK. So after the blessing of getting pregnant and carrying a baby full term and delivering it (which is the most natural thing a woman can do) and seeing that sweet little face in your arms, living and breathing, you want to get a really cool present?
For real? Isn’t that baby your present? Shouldn’t your heart be so full of joy and happiness that you have a child be more than enough? Shouldn’t the fact that you are no longer pregnant and you can eat a shit load of queso and booze again be the best present of all?
When did giving birth become something we need to expect a present for? Look, I get it, that shit is HARD. I did it three times, back to back to back. Literally 27+ months of giving up my body for a child to grow and develop inside of me. Then I pushed all three out with zero drugs. And to be honest, none of my pregnancies were planned. Two of them I was on birth control pills, one using condoms. I was sick as hell with all three, uncomfortable all the time, fat as a beached whale and over it every day. Like, white girl can’t even. But, once those little babes were put into my arms, I was compete. I did not need any sort of medal or special reward from anyone for doing what I did. A happy, HEALTHY baby was reward enough.
I think a new set of diamonds would have cheapened the adventure Matt and I had just experienced. Why do we always need to get rewarded for things that we are supposed to do? I got pregnant and it became my job to take care of myself and my body and create a safe environment for this fetus. And when it was time, it was my job to push the baby out into this world as safely as possible. IT WAS MY JOB. When I do my job at work, I get a paycheck, not a fucking necklace attached to it with a thank you from my boss, (although, since Matt is my boss, he does give me a pearl necklace every now and then if you know what I mean.) It was my job the moment I decided to be my kids’ parent (instead of swallowing that night.) Matt did not need to reward me. Yes, I gave him this gift of a child, but this gift would not have been mine without his sperm and his friskiness.
There are women out there who have tried for a long time to get pregnant. Women who carry a baby but the baby does not survive. Horrible things that women have to go through just trying to get the gift of a baby. Those women would want to, and deserve to, punch any other women who expect a fucking push present in the face. Sometimes we need to get over ourselves. This is one of those times. When someone asks me what my push presents were, I straight up laugh and give them the same response, “See those snotty, cranky, and straight up disgusting children over there? I got them. And they are simply the best gifts I ever have, and ever will receive.”