Being a Shitty Housewife involves cooking. I am OKAY at it. Not great at all, but decent. I can follow a recipe and usually pump out some good food, but I am horrible at off the cuff cooking. The hubs takes that role in this family. So there are 5 of us and with three toddlers, you really never know how dinner is going to be received. And with shit being so expensive, I am always looking for an easy to follow recipe without a shitload of ingredients.
My mom used to make Cornflake Chicken when I was a kid. I remember loving it and since my kiddos are obsessed with cereal I assumed they would love it too. Super easy, super practical and super yummy…..or at least until this shitty housewife gets her hands on it. Our side dish was sweet potato fries (and since we only had 2 on hand, we actually used a russet potato as well.)
INGREDIENTS
Boneless/Skinless Chicken
Butter
Salt and Pepper
2 cups of crushed cornflakes
¼ cup milk
2 Eggs
Olive Oil
Sweet Potatoes
DIRECTIONS
Heat oven to 375, get your alcoholic beverage of choice and pit bulls at the ready
Step 1. Crush up the cornflakes in a ziplock bag
Step 2. Butter a baking sheet
Step 3. Whisk milk and 2 eggs together in a bowl
Step 4. Feed your fat 9 month old who eats so much-waiting for dinner is not an option
Step 5. Have your husband (aka hairy hands…seriously, why do his hands look so hairy in this picture?) cut potatoes in large wedges.
Step 6. Pour olive oil, salt and pepper over potatoes and put on baking sheet
Step 7. Dredge chicken pieces in milk/egg mixture then in crushed cornflakes
Step 8. Give your 2 year old more juice because he is tantruming (AGAIN)
Step 9. Top chicken with salt and pepper
Step 10. Put chicken and potatoes in the oven
That is it.
But here is what really happened. After 45 minutes, the meat thermometer still wasn’t registering that the meat was done. So we took out the potatoes and kept cooking the chicken, not realizing that the fucking thermometer was broken. Our chicken was super dry and overcooked. The husband made some remark about it and I snapped and claimed it was fine, but really, it was kinda gross and I just force feed myself to prove a point. We doused it with ketchup and the kids ate it up, which was crazy. So yeah, that was our Cornflake Chicken. Cooked properly, it really is super tasty, super inexpensive and super filling. The next day we cut up the chicken, added some enchilada sauce and hot sauce to sauté it and made tacos. Now that shit was good! And Viv approved.
This was the funniest blog I’ve ever read, for real.
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