I never wanted to be a wife. It wasn’t really a major goal of mine. I never had the wedding dreams or thought much about rings. I just didn’t get that girly gene. I have had lots of boyfriends. I had lots of hook up friends. I never really hated being single. I never really sought out boys, although there always seemed to be one around. But I was always pretty cool with it either way. When I was with someone I gave it my all (well, as much as a semi shitty person can give) and when I was single, well, I lived that shit up. I went on dates, I went out all the time and I made out with pretty much most of the boys in Atlanta.

I was always pretty weird when I got involved with someone. I wanted my alone time, my space and my friend time. I really never combined those moments with the boys I was with. I just couldn’t figure out how. Once I hit my 30’s there became this ridiculous pressure from so many sources that it was time for me to settle down. That going bar hopping and boy hunting was not okay because I was older and that I was at an age where finding a man and raising some kids should be my main focus. These ideas came from all over. Friends, family, co-workers, social media, EVERYWHERE. And yeah, there were certain situations that I did start to lose interest in. Some scenarios that I did feel like the “older, single” girl. But I let that shit roll off. Sometimes allowing it to roll off was easier than others, but I remember thinking to myself that finding that one person would happen for me at some point. I knew it would happen. It would happen at the time it was supposed to and not a moment sooner. Yeah, I had my moments of crying over a boy. I had some lonely Sundays (never Saturdays, if I was lonely I did something about that shit on a Saturday night, that’s the best part about being single.) And of course I let those stereotypical images of me growing into an old single cat lady (or in my case pug lady) enter my mind.

But ya know what? FUCK THAT SHIT! There is not an age that you are supposed to start the role of a wife/husband/partner. You become that role when you find THE person. And to me, the later in life you get married the better. Less of a chance to cheat, get bored or divorced, right?! The longer you have to play and experiment and learn and grow into your best self, the better chance of your marriage surviving when it finally happens. I was 36 when I said my vows. I sewed a shit load of oats and stood up there, knowing who I was. I gave him the best, real-est, shittiest Jan I am and because I did not rush it, it will be the same one he says goodbye to when I pass away (that’s really morbid…my bad.) So here is what I am saying: To those of you who think there is a certain age one should be married and settled….FUCK OFF.

Now that I have found Matt, I would have waited another 30 years for him. His love for me was worth the wait. Would you rather me have married the person I was with when I was 27?? HE WAS AN ASSHOLE!! And I would have been divorced by now. So back the fuck off with your old school way of thinking. And for those of you who aren’t married and think you should be because that is what society says…relax. And I know it is easy for me to say because I am married now, but try to enjoy. Do all the things and ALL THE PEOPLE you can do. It is your time to shine. Single is not a bad word. It is the time when you mold into the person you need to be and your future partner is doing the same. I can guarantee you, had Matt and I met years earlier, it would not have been what it is now. We needed those extra years under our belts without each other and with each other as boyfriend and girlfriend to be this awesome married couple we are now. So let’s all start re-wiring our minds. Enjoy each day, whoever you are with. Even if you are just with yourself. Because in the long run, you truly are the only person you need. Everyone else is just an awesome bonus.

And you can do this whether you are married or not…

What is a Shitty Housewife….Well, it really isn’t a wife at all. I mean, it can be a wife. I am a wife. And I do stay at home with my kids. I did shut down my own business to be a mom. It was the best financial decision for my family, so I WAS a stay at home mom. For a bit. After my third baby was born, I began to lose my mind being around my kid’s nonstop with no break. And I hated being so broke. So now I work part time. I go to school full time. And I mom and wife all of the time. I try my best at all of my jobs. Work, school and home. But sometimes, because life is life and isn’t always full of rainbows and flowers, I am shitty at them. I make a ton of mistakes, forget almost everything and constantly get frustrated with everyone and everything. Whether it is at work, school or home, I am never up to par. But you know what…THAT IS OKAY! That is what a Shitty Housewife is. Simply a person who tries, all the fucking time and fails a lot. But keeps trying and keeps getting through it.

Maybe you aren’t a wife. Maybe you are a girlfriend, a partner, a single parent, an adoptive parent, a dog mom. A female, a male, a transgender, a WHATEVER. You are just a person, who has a purpose and a mission, but sometimes you just want to lay in bed and eat queso instead of executing that mission. I say go for it. Chow down on that cheese dip and lounge because you deserve it. Life is hard. Life is long. Life is full of hourly surprises you weren’t prepared for. And at the same time, life is fucking beautiful. Those surprises are amazing and these hardships launch us into something bigger and better.

This site is for us. The folks that wake up every day feeling like Mary Poppins but go to bed as Cruella Deville. The people that google Pinterest ideas for hours, but know damn well you could never make a handmade paper fucking flower. The entourage of kids that have kids or want kids, but are kids and we are just trying to figure it all out.

This site is for us. Full of funny stories and experiences. Opinions and ideas. Cool interviews with amazing people.  Ways to explore this insane world we live with a lighter heart. So if you are any of the above or none of the above you found your spot.

This idea sprung on me one night when my husband was telling me to prewash dishes before I load the dishwasher for the one millionth time. (Seriously, for 5 years we have had this conversation.) I said something about being a shitty housewife and then it hit me. The internet is filled with so many ways to be better. Ideas to strive for perfection. Stories that seem more like fairy tales. And then, on the other hand you have some terrible, awful, horrendous stories splashed in your face constantly. Every day we have to see how fucked up this world is or how wonderfully perfect things are working out for others. You will see neither one of those things on this site. Nothing perfect. Nothing atrocious. Just real. Right in the middle of that. Right where your shittiness is celebrated and quite frankly preferred.

I have an awesome team of support behind me including an old friend Ryan (the funniest) and my new friend Nicole (the soberest) who have been working around the clock with me since this idea came to fruition. We plan on presenting super-hot men and women who we “housewives” fantasize about. We will be showcasing a new incredible charity/organization who is making strides in changing this world on a monthly basis. We will be saluting some bad ass babes out there who are just fucking rad and are doing even radder things. We are celebrating cooking in the shittiest/best way we know how. And, of course we will present Timberlake Tuesdays….duh.

I, The Shitty Housewife Jan O’Shaughnessy and my male counterpart, Ryan Austin, will be bringing weekly blogs that will focus on things all over the board. Talking about things that are real, controversial, funny and shitty. Half the time you will disagree with us, but it will be great entertainment, I promise! You will not find discussions on politics. I follow them. I vote. I have very strong opinions but this is not the place for them. I will also never speak negatively about people who live life differently from the normal man/wife/kid scenario. I welcome different, outside the box and untraditional. I will also NEVER, EVER, EVER say anything nice about Justin Bieber. That shit will never happen. So hop aboard this weird ride with us. And don’t ever hesitate to contact us with your thoughts, ideas, and issues. We are always welcoming guest writers who have something interesting to say.

Ryan, Nicole and I are very excited about this new venture for us all. We have some crazy cool shit we are working on. Blogs, interviews, even fundraisers. The Shitty Housewife is going to be the coolest, funniest, wackiest and shittiest most mediocre thing the internet has seen in a long time!