Shittiest Move of the Week


Welp, it is Friday again. Time for me to spill my guts about the crappy things I did this week to make my readers feel a bit better about their crappy shit. I feel like the next few weeks I should be able to say my shittiest move is withholding sex from my husband… I mean that is the shittiest. But it has only been a week and the one time we found ourselves getting excited around each other, I found other ways to make him happy… I asked him questions about Star Wars… get your minds outta the gutter ya freaks.

Anyway, this weeks shittiest move is about my kids and my potty mouth. I swear, a lot. I have toned it down since having kids, but I still do it. They know what are adult words and what are kids words. It is a parenting move Matt and I discussed and agreed on. Look, we aren’t the Osborne’s over here, but I curse. I just do. I know some (well  most) parents probably think I am a horrible mom for letting out a ‘shit,’ ‘damn’ or whatever I say in front of my kids, but I do not think saying these certain words and explaining that they are adult words define me as a mom. I never say these words TO them (except for under my breath as I walk away. We all know we have called a toddler a fucker as they went the other direction… we all have!)

So #1 and #2 were in their play room as they do daily. They get along so well and are constantly feeding off of each others imagination. Well, Spiderman and Ariel were in class as Thor taught. I guess Spidey was getting a little unruly because as I am unloading the dishwasher I hear #1 say… “Spiderman, you are being such an asshole.” Oops. I went into the room and asked her what she said. Of course she got embarrassed and I could tell she knew she said an adult word. I asked her why she said it and she says…”Mommy, he wasn’t listening, he was beating up Ariel and not paying attention to the teacher. It was the only word I could think of.” Well girl, you are right. That sounds like a major asshole. Of course I did not say that. I just explained that there are other ways to express her thoughts without using certain words. That when she is older she can use any word she wants, but not now.

So my shittiest move is that not only did my child use a swear word, she used it perfectly. She knows exactly what an asshole is at the age of 4. Smart cookie…
shitty mom.

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