Well here we go again. My Shittiest Housewife move of the week.
Last week I talked about my kid choking. This week, once again, I have a few to choose from, but I am going to choose one that is not about parenting. It is about wife-ing. And surprise, surprise, I had a pretty shitty moment.
My husband and I have a mutual friend who is moving out of the state. We decided to have him over for a quick bite and a few drinks, one last time before he hit the road. We made sure the day was packed full so we would have some tired kids.
As the night progressed, they all quickly went to bed leaving just Matt, our guest and myself awake. Well, I decided to take full advantage of this and started drinking some cocktails, rather than the normal beer that I am used too. The drinks were flowing, the laughs were bursting and I was feeling good….and frisky. I started dropping the hints to Matt that tonight we were knockin’ boots (and when I say dropping hints, I was so drunk, I feel like I just straight up shouted that to him mid conversation.) Our friend is used to this behavior and Matt and I who never show PDA moved past our awkwardness of it this particular night. We were feeling good and excited about some adult time later.
We said goodbye to our buddy and the making out quickly begins. In my head, I was being all sexy, but in reality, I was probably just being weird and wasted (you know, normal Jan.)
“I’ll be right back,” I say as I sneak away. Matt is pumped. He goes to the bedroom and I go to our bathroom. The room is spinning. It’s been a long time since I have been like this. I drink, but not like this. Beer is my jam. These cocktails have jacked me up.
Suddenly, I am vomiting like a high school girl at a Dave Matthews concert circa 1999. All sexiness is gone, all cuteness has vanished. He knocks on the bathroom door and asks if I am ok. Of course I am not. I am a hot fucking mess.
I slept on the bathroom floor for awhile that night. No one got laid. And the next day, with the worst hangover I’ve had in many many years, I am even more shittier of a housewife that I am on most regular days.
So there it is. My moment. I want to hear yours!
CONTEST TIME….This week, since my shittiest moment was about sex and adult time, we have decided to give away a $25 gift card to Victoria’s Secret!
So ladies tell us your shittiest moment and then go indulge. And men, tell us your shittiest moment and give that shit to your lady friend (or use it yourself, whatever floats your boat. No judgement here!) Post your moment in the comment section via the website, Facebook or Instagram. Tag a friend to do the same and you are entered! Don’t be scared, we are all friends here and at least yours doesn’t involve drunken vomiting!!!