Saturday Slam

MY PERIOD.

For real.

I hate you.

You come at me every fucking month and attack my entire body for days on end. You make me feel fat, ugly, starved and unsatisfied. You make me want to cry my eyes out and kill every human in site. When you are around I deeply love and hate things I normally wouldn’t. You make my head ache and my back hurt. You make my feel icky and like the complete worst version of myself. When you are around, I do not feel like a women, I feel like a monster in the body of a water buffalo. You are the only thing that makes me want to injure my husband when he asks me what I want for dinner. CHEESE DIP! I FUCKING WANT CHEESE DIP. But there is not enough in sight to satisfy this craving.

You, period, are a horrible bitch who turns me into just that. a fucking horrible bitch.

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SATURDAY SALUTE….My period. Thank god you are here.

Fuck You Wendy Williams

Our SLAM- Wendy Williams!!!

Fun bags…FUCK YOU!!! Who the fuck are you to tell someone they need to go to their car and breastfeed. You are a mom and you don’t understand??? Look, I know the idea of tits feeding babies is so gross and yucky and disturbing, but why??? It is totally the opposite of any of that! It is the most natural thing a women can do besides go to the fucking bathroom. You even have to try a little when you give birth, but that milk just straight up comes in. Like the body was made to do it. I get not doing it. I get formula feeding. I bought formula today. But I would never criticize anyone for breastfeeding. And who cares if it is in public. Have you ever seen someone flashing you while doing it? Making sexual suggestions while doing it? Deep throating a hot dog while doing it? NO (although, if I did see a women deep throat a hot dog while breasfeeding, I would want to be her friend. She sounds like  damn good time. Did you read Ryan’s article about mouth hugs?) So all I am saying is back off. Back off this group of women who are saving money, nurturing their kid and doing what feels right. No one is criticizing you, Wendy, for all that plastic surgery (until now and that’s only because you are a cunt.)

You are a rude woman who got schooled by Sam from “Who’s the Boss.” Suck on this dick.