Is your biological clock ticking? Are your ovaries on fire? Well they are about to jump out into oncoming traffic. This is what a pregnant woman of a toddler is REALLY thinking during pregnancy…
1.He lied…
2. Best be glad I haven’t stabbed you in your sleep yet…
3. Don’t look at me while I devour this. Just throw food at me and call me pretty…
4. He is drinking for 2 and makes you want a shot even more…
5. Dreaming of the day you can enjoy the soothing burn of tequila once more…
6. The first meeting of new siblings…
7. This is going well…
8. #FirstKidProblems
9. I’m in charge of ALL of them? Can’t we just take a nap? Shit, am I missing one?
10. This is great. What the fuck was I thinking? At least I found the other kid.
11. This bitch over here better get her kids and her lips off my tequila!
12. Nap time. Mommy can’t stand up anymore…
13. Well that’s real fuckin sweet…
14. All I wanted was a hug! Maybe a kiss!
15. Does this kid make my belly look fat?
16. For all the times he complains about getting no credit. Then the kid pops out looking like his twin…
17. Are you making fun of my weight? Not the best idea, bucky… It’s your turn to push!
18. Let me tell you ’bout my best friend…
19. Just a sip? This swing doesn’t go any damn higher, child!
20. There are many moments of weakness…
21. And many meltdowns… From you AND the toddler…
22. But you aren’t the only one who now has to suffer! He’s stuck with your crazy ass…
23. Ok maybe you are…
24. Just remind him often, YOU DID THIS TO ME!!
XOXO
The Shitty Housewives and kids
Adding another to the chaos March 2017
Thank you to Steph Kitchens for the photography. To book her services, go here.
