I’ll be the first to admit I’m the mean one in the relationship. I’ve always been blunt and outspoken. Especially to when it comes to what I want in a relationship. But, you know, you apparently can teach an old dog new things, like trust.
I’ve been with my husband for 6 years, married for 1 1/2 & I STILL struggle with trust. I’ve always been cheated on before in previous relationships and so I assumed this one would be no different. But it has been. It took my husband about 5 out of those 6 years to win that trust. I always thought when we weren’t together he must be screwing around. Little did I know I was with the sweetest, most genuine man on the planet. Always doing his very best to cater to my needs.
A couple months ago I lost my job. I got my ass fired. My bluntness and being outspoken bit me in my big ass. At first there was relief because I really couldn’t do the best at the place I was at anymore.
Then the panic set in. The sheer holy-shit-what-have-I-done panic. We were never going to make bills. We were going to have to move in with my mom. Panic. I cried for days. I’ve never been in such a deep depression. So I tried to think of what I could do to help out. OH! I can clean the house and make it beautiful and start fixing things up around here. That’s what I can do to help my husband. I can be the best wife I can be while being unemployed (while working little side jobs for a bit of money and looking like crazy for jobs.)
:Enter shitty housewife here:
Although I help my friend’s mom cleaning houses sometimes (and actually do very well with her!) I, apparently, cannot muster up the motivation to do my own. I can see that the bathroom needs a good scrub but actually going to do it is the worst idea I’ve ever heard of. Ever. How do two people make a bathroom so dusty? And all the hair? Sheesh. (Totally my fault, of course.)
It’s now been 3 1/2 months of unemployment and I’m STILL looking for a job. I never knew it would be this hard! I’m still struggling to keep a clean house. I’m still struggling to keep up my end of the bills. But as a old dog I’ve learned many things in the past few months. Who knew that could happen? I’ve learned that marriage is a team. Yes I knew this going into it but I’ve always thought of it as 50/50. But when your partner doesn’t have their 50, you put in more. My husband has been running on a solid 75/25 for a few months now. Not only does he work all day (too much in my opinion) but then he comes home to help me with the chores I haven’t 100% completed AND then makes dinner. (I knew I married a chef for a reason) All the while keeping my spirits up and thanking me for the measly few chores I did get accomplished. Lord help us when we have children. I’ll really have to start learning to be a better housewife. Until then I’ll work on going from shitty to crappy to fine to decently okay and so on.
Guess I better go tackle that damn bathroom…wish me luck.
Jenni Newton