The Shitty Housewife

Ellen Page & Leo DiCaprio

Seeing as though the Oscars were last night, I decided to have today’s Masturbation Monday be all about two amazing actors. And besides them being incredibly talented, they are also SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!  Both are the epitome of super stars yet have such a mysterious vibe about them. So here we go, get your hands ready…Ellen Page and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Ellen Page….So we all feel in love with this gal in Juno. She nailed that role and was freaking adorbs while doing it. She went on to gain incredible leading roles, holding her own next to some pretty big stars!  She has dated some super hot men and now, after coming out of the closet, some pretty sexy ladies too. Whoever she is banging, she looks hot doing it!
Leonardo DiCaprio…..No words. There isn’t a 30 something, female on this planet who has not crushed over this guy. I mean from back in the Basketball Diary days to Wolf of Wall Street…he never has ever looked bad. He only seems to date models and probably only deserves to date models. I mean, yeah, I want to bang him, but would feel like a disgusting, gross looking human after comparing his beauty to mine. He is just perfection. And if I ever did get a chance to bang him, I would totally make him do his Departed accent while we were hooking up……SWOON.