The Shitty Housewife

Lookin’ Shitty

Here is the thing. I don’t mind working out.

I really don’t. I always feel so much better afterwards, I have tons of energy and I overall know I look better.

As far as eating healthy, I enjoy that too. Healthy tastes yummy, it’s fulfilling and of course it is so much better for you than processed foods.

I have worked out and eaten well my entire life. I always have a gym membership and I have continuously kept my weight down. BUT… (of course there is a but, this is The Shitty Housewife…) that shit is getting hard. It just is. After waking up and dealing with day to day life, keeping up with work and school and kids and chores, going to the gym has just become an annoyance. I still eat healthy. Obviously, from other posts, you all know I drink beer and chow queso, but I do eat healthy the majority of the time.

I know finding time in your day for yourself is so important and good for you, blah, blah, blah. But when I get some free time at any moment, I just want to lay in my comfortable bed, alone, in the quiet, BY MY FUCKING SELF, RESTING, and not on some elliptical machine or some spin class.

I am just over it. And the worst part about it is that now I am old and I actually have to REALLY try. In my early twenties I would feel fat one day, go jog for 30 minutes and wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, looked like a million bucks again. Now, it takes weeks and weeks. I busted my ass after my third child. I worked out like a maniac. I got the weight off quickly, got super toned and on my wedding day, I was almost too skinny. But that stopped. Once life was back to the daily grind I lost interest.

Look, I want to feel good and look better. I want to get checked out by young boys. I want my husband to see other men check me out and be proud that I am his. I want to be the MILF. I want to look in the mirror and think “damn girl.” But all of those wants aren’t making it happen.

Here is my plea…help me readers. Give me some tips. Some advice. I need something more than just looking at pictures of Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson at this point. Although, their abs are motivating, lets be realistic here. I don’t have their time, chefs, trainers or MONEY. (If I did, I would probably just have a more comfortable bed and this would be even more challenging.)

What is your workout routine and why do you like it? How do you keep yourself motivated? How do I say no to early bedtime and yes to a quick night work out? How do I rewire my brain to love my body more than my bed? I am making an internet vow that by next week at this time I will have found something. Then I will do it in front of you all (not literally, I will just give you updates. You watching me workout would be too embarrassing, even for me!) I will keep track, tell you how it is going and let you know when I fuck up and stay in bed (but in bed with my husband doesn’t count because that sure as hell burns calories.)

Maybe keeping my word will be motivation enough.

Probably not, lets not get our hopes up.

Again, this is The Shitty Housewife. Dropping the ball is kinda my thing.