The Shitty Housewife

Saturday Slam

MY PERIOD.

For real.

I hate you.

You come at me every fucking month and attack my entire body for days on end. You make me feel fat, ugly, starved and unsatisfied. You make me want to cry my eyes out and kill every human in site. When you are around I deeply love and hate things I normally wouldn’t. You make my head ache and my back hurt. You make my feel icky and like the complete worst version of myself. When you are around, I do not feel like a women, I feel like a monster in the body of a water buffalo. You are the only thing that makes me want to injure my husband when he asks me what I want for dinner. CHEESE DIP! I FUCKING WANT CHEESE DIP. But there is not enough in sight to satisfy this craving.

You, period, are a horrible bitch who turns me into just that. a fucking horrible bitch.

SATURDAY SALUTE….My period. Thank god you are here.