The Shitty Housewife

Overnight Oatmeal

One of the most slackest parts of my day is breakfast. While my husband makes these yummy elaborate morning meals that everyone in the house swoons over, I am the queen of offering dry cereal, a granola bar or microwaved waffles.

I know…I’m shitty.

Well this week for Fat Kid Friday, I decided to up my game. Since mornings exhaust me I thought I would try overnight crockpot oatmeal. This way, when we all wake up I have a yummy, healthy, fulfilling meal waiting for everyone. And I won’t start the day feeling like the shittiest cook ever.

 

INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

Step One- Pour yourself a bowl of cereal. It is 9 pm and you are making oatmeal. You deserve a yummy snack.

Step Two- Gather ingredients. You know you bought these steel cut oats a long time ago when you were trying to be healthy, but that instant shit is just too easy. Now here is your chance!

Step 3- Get your crock pot

Step 4- Make sure it is plugged in. (remember that time you did not do this step and 4 hours into your crockpotting adventure you had raw meat…..and you had to pick up the dinner tab out that night?)

Step 5- Go look at your family who is all relaxing and chilling out, while you are crockpotting…seriously, WHAT THE FUCK…can today be done already?

Step 6-Pour all of the ingredients into the crockpot and set on low.

Step 7- GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Step 8- Wake up and check on crockpot with so much excitement because you are a goddess who made a great breakfast.

Step 9- Offer it to toddlers. Viv (of course) approves. Kellen (of course) hates it and wants a frozen waffle

Step 10- Put some on baby’s highchair plate and watch this human go from adorable to disgusting in minutes.

Step 11- Drink your coffee. Because seriously, that’s all we housewives really care about in the morning. And throw some Baileys in it

 

 

 

This actually was really good. Two out of three kids approved and the hubs liked it too. I have to force feed myself breakfast because I am never that hungry when I wake up. But I had a few spoon fulls and thought it was tasty. I would make it again, but next time I would spray pam on the inside of the pot. It is 5 hours since breakfast right now and I am still scrubbing that piece of shit.