So as you all know I had my very first “letting go” parenting moment this week. I know, I know. I have three kids, one of which is 4 years old. How the fuck is this the first??? Well, my husband and I have managed, for 4 years, to keep one of us with her at all times. No daycare, no hiring a nanny. We busted our asses and worked and parented and exhausted ourselves making it happen. But we did it. I got 4 years at home with her and now her brothers. So yesterday she began school and it was rough…..for me.
But it was hard for everyone. Well not really for Viv. She did great. She was a tough cookie. No tears, totally chill and had a great time. Cool when I left her, cool when we all picked her up. Just chill. Her brother had a tougher time. I guess I did so much prepping with her I forgot to prep him. He cried when we had to leave the school saying he wanted to stay with her. He asked me over and over what to do. He told me he didn’t know what to do without her. He cried. A LOT. Matt was great, but I could tell he was anxious as well. He woke her up and helped her get ready. Got off work early to make sure he was there to pick her up. He was staring at the clock just as hard as I was waiting for it to be time to go scoop her. When she saw him at pick up she ran to him with the biggest smile on her face, so happy to see him.
The next step is Matt’s mom moving here. She is renting an apartment in town for a year now that she has retired. She wants to help with the kids and have a more routine presence in their lives. I am so excited. But nervous. I am taking on more hours at work and my school starts up again so she will be with the boys while Viv is at school. So I will be letting them go here soon. I know it is par for the course of parenting and most do it much sooner than this. And I know I talk a lot of shit about them being wild, disgusting and kinda assholes but they are my wild, disgusting assholes that I love more than I could have ever imagined and now this “home” time with them is over. And I am letting them all go…..it sucks.
It’s life though. And all these changes are for the best. I am watching them grow and seeing my family grow up. It is incredible and heartbreaking all at the same time. It is just going so fast. I feel like I will blink and Viv will be asking for birth control, Kell will be breaking someone’s heart and Cam will be getting arrested for urinating in public (these aren’t my parenting goals, I am just realistic.) The days seem long but the years are flying.
Happy Thursday folks, the weekend is almost here. We have ALMOST made it,
xoxo
Jan-O, The Shitty Housewife