In the ongoing effort to save money in our one-income family, I decided to try to cut out my Starbucks. I don’t go every day but an average of at least once a week, which can add up quickly. I looked up a recipe on the beloved place where things go to die, Pinterest, and here we are!

DIY White Chocolate Mocha

Step 1    

I started by trying to find all of the ingredients. Being the basic bitch that I am, I really only drink Starbucks coffee so finding a coffee pot AND coffee from the last decade was a shocker for me. Once I found it, it took me another 15 minutes to figure out how to use it. Once that happened, I made a simple pot of coffee. Blech. Of coure I got coffee grounds everywhere because that’s just the shitty karma that I have been blessed with.

Step 2  

While the coffee was cooking? No. Brewing. Ok start over. While the coffee was brewing, I started to make the creamy chocolatey goodness that makes the drink so delicious. I was told by the recipe to use the “double boiler method so as not to scorch the milk.” Thank fucking Gerard Butler they had a picture because this bitch aint fancy like that. I managed to fashion something up with a pot and a slightly smaller pyrex glass bowl (a hand-me-down. They make me feel adult though.) Then I put way too much water in the big pot and it kept boiling into the little pot and just pissed me off.

Step 3  

Once the water is boiling, put about half a cup of milk in the bowl. I put more because I only like a splash of coffee in my coffee (again, basic bitch right here.) Also add the white chocolate chips and start stirring while they melt. Or if you are like me, notice only once you get to this point that you have vanilla chips. What the fuck is a vanilla chip? That sucks.

Step 4  

Once the milky mixture is melted and ready, pour whatever the fuck amount you want into your mug (this is like the only mug I own and was made by my boyfriend’s grandmother many years ago. She was an amazing potter and painter and had some incredible stories.) Fill it the rest of the way with coffee and add Reddi-Whip on top. I don’t typically have Reddi-Whip on hand but my daughter’s birthday party was in February and she had a hot cocoa bar that failed and the date was still good, so….. I used that shit.

This actually turned out to be a really good drink. I imagine it would have been a whole hell of a lot better with actual white chocolate chips but the vanilla ones just made it creamy and vanilla-y and I actually liked it! And it was relatively simple.

Bottom line, you can save yourself 5 bucks but not the pleasure of being a basic bitch with a green straw. If I am stuck at home, I would totally make this again. And then put it into a Starbucks cup.

If you want, follow us on Pinterest so we can follow you back. We have zilch right now but I promise in a few days we will have plenty of ideas for you to save for “later.”